Girl all of a sudden stopped talking to me. Girls please help?

A girl that I knew from college asked to meet up with me a little over a month ago. She & I hadn't talked in 5 years but wanted to meet so I did. I knew that she was moving away but didn't know when. We met and we hit it off extremely well. The first date ended with her staying at my place making out & talking all night. We went out another night later that week & she came back to my place where we made out again & a kiss goodbye. She asked me the next day to hang with her & help her do some errands. When we met she greeted me with a kiss. Throughout the day we kissed off & on & had a good time hanging holding hands and kissing. So things started going really well. She was moving in 2 more weeks so I was bummed out. Well we talked almost every day & the next week I went over to her place. We had a great evening making dinner together & watching a movie. We kissed on & off and then I stayed there where we made out and cuddled. The next day she gave me several kisses and a kiss goodbye in her driveway. During this time she was going through a ton of stuff, moving, studying for her boards, and saying bye to family. So I felt good about what time I got. She found out she didn't pass her boards which crushed her. I told her I was there for her, and later that day she asked if I wanted to run an errand with her. She thanked me for being so nice and gave me a kiss when I left. We were supposed to see each other that Friday but she got behind in packing. She moved 2 weeks ago. We have talked almost everyday. Sometimes I call/text & sometimes she does. She had said something about me visiting when she left. Last week I said something about visiting her at the end of the month. She said she didn't know for sure but thought that was doable. We talked every day after that. I was worried but the next day she texted and called me. Then I got a hand written card from her saying "I'm glad you're in my life" & "feel free to visit" which was sent prior to my suggestion. Well Saturday I called & didn't get an answer. She called back on Sunday but I was about to eat out so I told her I'd call once I was done. She agreed. I called later but she didn't answer then sent a text saying she was at a bar watching a ball game and would call when it was done. She never called back. I texted her last night since she started her new job saying "hope your first day of work was a good one." I got no response. I've heard nothing today either.

What's going on? Why is she ignoring me all of a sudden? What throws me the most is that if she wanted to ignore me, why would she call Sunday? She called, I just happen to be busy but I did answer. So she was reaching out to me, then she promised to call & didn't WTF? She knows I'm a nice guy & I think she's a nice honest girl too. So why would a girl who had a romance with a guy, then talked to him everyday once she moved, tell him he should visit, talk to him all week including a card, start ignoring him 2 days later? Review & advise

This whole thing really confuses me. How did it go from a flood of contact to now not responding? Her behavior doesn't make sense. She talked to me all week then RETURNED my call on Sunday. She called me. I couldn't talk. But then she doesn't call back when she said she would? I thought maybe she's busy, she started her new job, but no contact the next day or to my text? What changed in less than 12 hrs? Is she need time to think about something or what? What changed from calling Sunday to now?
So I feel like she should contact me so I am going to hold off from contacting her. The thing is I want some answers, even if that means she's done, I just want to know. So if I decide to call her, how long should I wait? She knows I was wanting to visit at the end of the month so I'd need to buy tickets soon. I just need to know what is happening, I hate this not knowing crap.
I called tonight, and got no answer. So I guess she decided that she is done and her way to deal with that is just ignoring me flat out. Its a shame since she portrayed herself as someone who respected me and appreciated the kindness I showed her. I really feel disrespected. I'm struggling with the notion to email her asking what the deal is. I would keep it nice & not chew her out but I don't know if that's a good idea. I want closure & answers but I don't want to burn bridges with her. Advice?
I've been thinking if I'll ever talk to this girl again. Not in the immediate future but months down the road. Are there times when you realize you can't date a person but are OK with when they reach out to you later down the road. Currently I know any attempt to contact her is just looking bad but months down the road am I allowed to give a call or write on her wall or shoot an email to her? I don't want to disappear & I think she'd feel awkward down the road making the call since she was rude
Well surprise surprise she called tonight. She started off apologizing for being sh*tty & not calling me back. She explained that she has been busy with her new job & studying. I said something about how she could have made the time for a call or text. She apologized more but it just didn't make me feel better. I didn't want to dwell on it too much but the conversation had an awkward tone because of that. I am glad she called but still feel unsure about our situation. Do I wait to hear from her?
So now I don't know what is supposed to happen. Do I need to confront her about what she wants from me? I mean its never been addressed, and I don't know how I'm supposed to act towards her. There's obviously a difference between friends and more than friends. I know far more likely that she just wants to be friends but do I need to have her clarify this? I just feel weird now about how much I should talk to her. Before that week where she was awol we talked everyday now I'm not sure if that's ok


Most Helpful Girl

  • She went out with you even though she knew she was leaving. She entered the relationship with you too fast, and that's a bit weird for a serious relationship. I think she intended for it to last while she was there.(I know for a fact I won't lead a long distance relationship because it's just too bothersome). Maybe she's bored of you, because you seem a little bit clingy. Well if it were for me, I wouldn't want to start a serious relationship if I knew I was leaving. It would only be a fling. Oh and, it seems like she's losing her interest in you, because if it's already long distance and she is not responding you, well , there's something weird.

    • I feel like no one is really paying attention to the details. I know we talk almost everyday but she will call and text me first and sent me a card and called me the dame day she ended up blowing me off so how is that me being clingy when she contacts me. Then all od a sudden it stopped. Not that there was a progression of ignoring me. If she was worried about things being serious she didn't have to talk to me almost everyday since she moved 2 weeks ago either or tell me I should visit. Why?

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    • She called tonight. She apologized but it didn't make me feel much better. The convo didn't have a good vibe obviously so it was hard to know what to take away from it. She said she's been busy with work/studying/starting a new life. I still say she could have called. I am not sure when to talk to her again, if I should call her or text or wait for her. I'm glad she called but don't know if it was more for me or for her benefit.

    • Of course she could've called at least once, she's taking you for granted. Don't lower yourself so much, because if you stay with her it means that you're okay with someone treating you this way. I tell you, there are many women who would treat you a lot better, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel happy without worries. (she could've at least texted you)

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe she just got bored of you, I mean maybe she was just looking for it from you, but once she gotten it from some other dude, she's chosen to leave you to yourself, do you get it?

    Sorry, I was kinda confused about how to explain about your story, sorry my explaination is pretty sh*tty and confusing, maybe you should try surprising her with something (:

    • She was the one who called me at 12:30pm I couldn't talk. But she called, so why would she do that if she was bored of me? I called her at 2:30, and she told me she'd call when the game was over and didn't. Could something really have happened in such a short time that would make her ignore someone she's talked to almost everyday for the last 2 months? Someone she's told to visit, someone she took the time to write a handwritten card to? Those things are effort on her part. Is she scared?

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    • You know what, I think you're too hung up on this chick, to the point where you LOVE her. I think the best thing you can do is let the time absorb into it, in other words give it time, maybe like 3 weeks or so, the girl will obviously be annoyed if you try reaching her again in a short period of time. So let her go for a few weeks, I'm sure it won't kill you that bad (:

    • I plan on waiting. I stated above months. I just want to know if it would be a bad move to reach out at all. I don't think love has on my mind but she was someone who I'd like as an option if it were possible. So I'd like to keep in touch somehow but don't want to be weird. I just don't want to know if its OK to contact her after a month or two & it not be weird. I mean I've talked to other girls who I dated or started to date later on, just didn't know if its different because what happened.

  • Who knows, maybe she won't even remember it or really care about it. I personally think you deserve better and she's not the only girl in the world. Why do you settle for less? Why this woman if she has put you through so much? There are women out there that can be so much better and wouldn't play with you. And, why would she feel awkward down the road? She would just need to keep ignoring you, there is nothing to feel awkward about if she doesn't see you. You're just making excuses for yourself because deep down you love her and so you cling to her, you wish she's the one for you... why wait though? There might be someone better out there for you

  • Sometimes when you like someone and you have to move away it's easier to cut off contact and end it. Or maybe you're just being a bit too clingy/she's actually busy. My advice would be to stop contacting her and wait for her to miss you and call you.

    • I have been careful of not being clingy. I mean we both called and texted each other 1st during this last week. Then I just texted her for a thanks for her card on Friday, very short. Then I called Saturday. She CALLED me back Sunday, so doesn't that show interest? So I couldn't talk then but called later like I said. She told me she'd call back & didn't. I texted her yesterday but didn't ask anything just said "hope you had a good first day at work. " I didn't think I was being that clingy.

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    • My concern is that since I think she knows she acted sh*tty to me. She will get to a point where she doesn't want to reach out to me out of embarrassment or fear. Then I worry about calling or contacting her because of how she has acted. Then months go by & nobody's reaching out & whatever friendship/more we had completely disappears. I would not try to contact for at least a month or more. I just want to know if that's ok? I mean I never did anything wrong to her this all just happened.

    • She called tonight. See update above. Not sure where to go from here.

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