Why am I so darn crazy ? Am I about to scare away another man?

and does he like me? ...ok so I met this guy off an online dating site 3 weeks ago. I really didn't get my hopes up because men off these sites tend to be douches/ and not attractive. I met for dinner, he was cute and a NICE guy. He opened my door for me, walked me to my door, held my hand, payed for everything, and sent me texts to see if I got home safe. He communicated he wanted to see me again after thedate and we have been talking daily ever since and seeing each other.

Me, the paranoid one, has gone on the site I met him and seen that he logged on a couple of days during a week. I don't know if this even means anything. Does it? Anyways he told his dad about me, and his friends, and he always asks about my parents. We either talk on the phone or text each day after work. he kinda opened up to me personally so I let my guard down. He let me in on some of his insecurities and family issues. this would turn a normal girl off, but this actuallyy turned me on . I felt like I could relate to him more when he opened up to me. I know that he is looking for a relationship. He is such a nice guy we haven't even mentioned sex or anything yet at all. every time we go out , he refuses to let me pay...even if it is a bottle of water. he was talking aobut us taking a road trip together one weekend soon, and I offered to drive my car, and he refuses to let me do so...saying " I can't let you do that, I will drive".

I have completely lost interest in other men. hell, I don't even see the use of looking at another man. No one even compares. he makes other men look like trash,litterally. I am scared that he may meet someone else and I will get hurt. I don't even know if he is meeting other people...ugh what do I do?

YOu guys know that usher song " you got it bad"? Yea that's me right now. I got it real bad...what do I do to not scare him away? How do I know if he likes me alot? etc

oh and I kinda told him about what I was thinking about another woman snatching him up, and he tells me to stop worrying about that, and that I am not going to scare him away...but I can't help it, nothing good ever happens to me in my love life. It seems like a fairy tell, I am just waiting to get slapped in face with reality soon.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is moving way too fast. I have seen this in action and it is a great way for a guy to open a girl up to feeling comfortable and then they go in for the kill, which is usually sex without a relationship and while they are seeing other women.

    So, he could be a too-good-to-be true guy or he could be a nice guy. You need to slow this down in order to find out. I don't think there is anything wrong with him or you dating others when you are not committed to each other and you have not become intimate. However, the way he is acting with you just does not fit with a guy continuing to check the online dating site. That sounds very strange and contrary to what I have seen nice guys who are really in to a girl do. I would definitely take care.

    So, stop putting this guy on a pedestal. If you want a great way of screwing things up, build a guy up to being the one, a king among men, in your mind and you will. When you treat someone as your equal, not as someone you don't deserve, you tend to see their behaviors in the right light and you are better able to notice when things don't add up. Good luck!

    • so basically he is not into me because he logs onto his profile?

    • ugh I knew it was too good to be true...good sh*t never happens to me

    • I did not say he is not in to you, but really, do you think a guy who is "nice" and gentlemanly would still be doing that? I just think you should consider that he is a regular guy, you two have just met, and until more time has gone by and you are in a relationship, well he may well be keeping his options open. If he does ask you to be his girl, I would ask him if had discontinued his dating profile.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Your story so far shows that he does like you. So yes, I think you're acting a bit paranoid.

    The best way to scare a guy off is being too clingy. Texting tens of times during the day, calling him multiple times a day.

    And bringing up kids and marriage early on. If you want to marry as soon as possible, keep it to yourself.

    • I actuaally don't want to get married right away...he actually brought up wantiing to settle down...(thinking), he brought up relationships and settling down ..NOT ME! I just joined in the conversation. I don't want to have kidss anytime soon at all.

  • I wasn't accusing you of doing anything. I was just stating which things scare away most guys most easily.


What Girls Said 1

  • He could be "Prince Charming" but it sounds more like one of those cases where it's "too good to be true." It sounds like he's moving kind of quickly and trying a little too hard, neither of which is a good sign. Usually guys who are actually jerks try super hard to put on the nice guy act in the beginning and rush things along to get you hooked. Then once you are, his true character comes out. But that doesn't mean he's definitely a bad guy. He could really be that nice, but I find it unlikely. My advice is take it slow, don't rush things. Only time will tell if this guy is genuine or not. Best of luck to you!

    • And it doesn't sound like you're doing anything that would scare him away. As long as you're not up his butt 24/7 or acting insecure around him. It's understandable to have doubts, but don't pile them on him.

    • Show All
    • That could still be part of his game if he really knows what he's doing. Like I said it could go either way. Just be careful is all I'm saying. There's no rush.

    • My ex who was emotionally and verbally abusive, controlling, manipulative, etc. acted in a similar fashion in the beginning of our relationship. Including the physical stuff, I had to initiate the first kiss as well.

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