He always cancels our dates last minute.


I am 31 yo and I've been seeing this guy for 3 months now. We were work colleagues before that, at first I wasn't interested but he was always coming to me and giving sings that he liked me. This went on for a few months until we finally went out. We are great together, mainly because we are friends and feel good with one another. Then again, he ditched me last minute several times. First time was because he had some problem with his internet at home, and had to stay in to wait for the maintenance guy. Then his mom asked him for a favor and he cancelled again. Then there was the time when he was ill (ok, this one is OK, because I caught his cold and felt terrible, so I really understand). Then he was out of town for one week so we didn't see each other... Now he's back and we had a date tonight... This morning he sent me an sms saying that he could not make it tonight because he woke up later than he should today and couldn't make it on time at work, so he would have to work longer. He also asked me please not to be angry, which at first I wasn't. Then again, yesterday we spoke about it and I told him I would come by his place, and I remember asking him "til what time can I show up?" (I have a daughter and it kind of depends on when she's going to bed for me to go, that's why I asked), and he said anytime, even later... So why then suddenly it should be cancelled, and could not be later? I started thinking and got sad, I have the feeling that I can always be postponed. I understand when people have complicated lives, I have one myself, but I stick to my appointments when I care about them (ie especially with him). And now I don't know what to do or think. I really like this guy and I know he likes me as well, but it sucks to be ditched last minute all the time (I mean, it's been 3 months and it has happened at least 4 or 5 times). I always have to check my free time and organize myself regarding my daughter, so I also feel like he should indeed see that and know that it is not always easy for me. Also, soon it is going to be his birthday. When it was my birthday, we spent the day together, and he told me he would like it for me to do the same on his birthday... Lately he told me that he had an appointment with his parents on his birthday, and we could see meet in the end of the day, after he has seen his parents. OK, it is family, I understand that as welll... but am I being too comprehensive?


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What Guys Said 1

  • No your not too comprehensive, I went through/still am going through a similar situation. Its sounds like he's making excuses to get out of dating or doesn't want a relationship at the moment.

    • You see, that's the thing: he comes to me and asks for me to see him (for instance, since we work together, on our break time), texts me saying he really likes me and everything... and this time for instance, he was the one who asked me to see him today... So if he seems not to be willing to have a relationship, he should actually not come after me at all, shouldn't he? Why does he do that then? It is so confusing...

    • It is confusing, next time he ask you tell him you already have plans weather you actually do or not play a little hard to get now maybe that will make him more committed to keeping your dates.

What Girls Said 1

  • Time for you to walk away. He's not being considerate at all to you