Will this girl ever change her mind?

We used to hang out by ourselves all the time, like three or four times a week. If she was in town and killing time, she'd ask if she could come over to my house. At the same time, we texted each other or called one another on the phone like every night

I've liked her pretty much since I met her and I thought since we were getting so close that I might as well ask her out on a date. I texted her one night to start a convo to ask but didn't get a reply until the next morning, when she said she went on a date the night before. I asked her on one, since like a lot of people go on just dates, but she apparently meant she was dating the guy and she got really mad at me and we didn't talk for months until they split up

When they split up, we started talking again (like in February), and we've been talking since.

When they split up, we started talking again (like in February), and we've been talking since. I asked her to hang out one time and she said yeah and that she had this friend of hers that she wanted me to meet. I said OK and I thought she was hooking me up, but we all went on a picnic together (her suggestion), and it turns out her friend has a boyfriend so I thought she just wanted her to come along.

About a month or so ago, I asked to hang out and she said yeah and said she may ask her friend. I asked about what if her friend had plans and she said that she honestly doesn't feel comfortable hanging out alone cause of what happened between us. She also said that hanging out in groups is more fun (which I could see) and that she was sort of stressed at me constantly asking to hang out. We talked about it and ike I spilled my feelings out (used past tense so she wouldn't get mad) and basically said I understood why she would be uncomfortable and that I just couldn't help my feelings back then.

That passed over and we've recently gotten to the point where we talk and text more than we did back when we were close and we're actually going to be hanging out by ourselves in a few days

Anyway, we talked on the phone yesterday and she said that like she felt bad about how she was last year, cause she realized she was sort of leading me on and that I was just being a little too pushy

Is it possible for me to ever get with her? We're gonna start hanging out again and she hasn't seen me in months so you think that may change her mind? Or what I said about my feelings (like how she was really important to me and that she meant a lot to me, that I really cared about her, that just being around her made me happy, that I just wanted her to be happy)?

I mean, she said that her ex (that she got with when this drama started) was weird and taht I'm definitely cooler than him. That and us hanging out again is a start, but do you think we may ever be more than friends?

Is there ANYTHING I could do to sort of help that? I mean, I still like her. I think about her all the time, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her, and I just wish she'd give me a chance...


Most Helpful Girl

  • If she has said to you that you're being too pushy, my advice would be back off. Not completely. Still talk to her. But try and see if you can get her to come to you a little more... for instance if it's you who texts in the morning saying "Good morning, how are you today?!" just leave it and see how long it takes her to do it... if she hasn't texted back after say, 4-5 days, you can text first :) That time away will mean she will either think about you, or she will be like "oh! I haven't heard from him in a bit! Sweet!" (Also if she's busy, she may appreciate the space)

    If you are getting on well and still hanging out alone that's good. It sounds so far like she just likes you as a friend, and if you speak to her about your feelings at the moment I think she will just get scared again.

    Have you ever bought her a little present? I don't mean like a birthday present, something more like "i saw this and thought of you" eg. a £1 keyring with her name on, or a tiny little teddy or something. Something small that doesn't cost a fortune and hopefully you can come up with a mini story behind it.

    I know it's not the best advice, but it's the best I can think of.. best of luck x

    • Yeah, I have. It was a Christmas present while she was still with the other guy. (A book on painting since she really likes painting)

    • Show All
    • k

      Is it bad that she didn't get backt o me last night? She normally does :/

      And I wanted to text her tonight and ask her how her job when today since she's starting it back up again today :/

    • Well I think we're gonna go to the movies on my birthday

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • I don't mind texts but then I text a lot sometimes. Well you can just give the texting a break. I'm sure if she likes you she won't mind. My boyfriend frequent texts me

  • k I didn't even read it all but it could be her way with dealing with emotion. Or another possibility is dreams. When I have a sexual dream or a dream with VERY strong emotions its like it was a one night stand kind of thing even if the other person isn't aware of what went down, maybe that's just me but it makes me aviod the guy who the dream was about.

  • i think I've already answered this , but she MAY have feelings for you , or she was just using you to pass time
    asking her face to face will explain everything :)

    • I can't ask her face to face. We haven't talked since she did this and like, she didn't reply to any of my texts after she did it, even the one apologizing and like, I'm just afraid to ask her... We both agreed to move on and put our feelings in the past (I'm the one who suggested it cause I thought it may make the friendship better) and just cause of the drama that happened between us, I don't know if I can. I mean, I want to but... I'm afraid of what she'd do

    • forget her then , there's a lot of girls out there , it seems like she's not interested , don't bother her and be clingy . move on and forget

    • I've tried moving on but like, nobody has been as good as her :/

      I've just been giving her space the last week. Haven't talked since last Sunday

  • Well sometimes I get frustrated when people text a lot because I'm more of a verbal person so maybe she's a verbal person.

  • Simply she just lost her feelings for you. She takes you only as a friend right now. If you wanna get back to the point in which you guys were still close, keep in contact with her for a while, and disappear without any sign. Like no text, no call, no Facebook nothing! Then she will wonder why you suddenly quit txt/calling her... There's a chance that she gets either worried or jealous for thinking you may got new girl..


What Guys Said 3

  • I read the whole thing. I'm sorry dude but she's really not in to you. She's trying to give you the signs that's she's not interested. It sucks she feels uncomfortable about hanging out alone with you. I don't know why that is. I would move on if I were you. I wouldn't even get together with her again until you're ready to accept the fact that she doesn't like you. There's better girls out there. Good luck bro

  • why are you making it so difficult?

    Tell her that you like her( more than a friend) and ask her how she feels about you.

    I think she is not into you but if you really like her you should confirm it.

    if she says she is not into you. then just stop wasting your time with her and move on. You sound like a nice guy I'm sure there are tons of other girls that would want to date you.

    • Ps: I read the whole thing ;)

  • Booze,

    • 1. I don't drink (hereditary problems. Had a huge scare with my dad's drinking problem tonight actually)

      2. That's what I want her to not be worried about. I'm thinking that may be why she's uncomfortable but I wouldn't do that to her