First real "broken heart"...Not sure how to deal with it.

I was married at 20...for a long time...and it finally died a quiet peaceful death. No heart ache. So I get into a relatinoship for a year with a guy that seems to be so awesome...till I find out lies...he has excuses...and I forgive..because he is so loving to me. And then he dumps me. On Sunday he can't wait to see me and misses me...on Monday we are "done forever". I didn't handle it well...I cried and begged...and pushed him further away. There is no hope of reconciliation...and honestly, when I look at the lies and his whorish need for attention from women, I should be glad...but at my age...I'm going through my first real "heart break" and I'm not sure how to handle it. I literally can't eat...(lost 15 lbs)...and think of him constantly. And knowing I don't even cross his mind makes it hurt even more. any quick fixes?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel that I've been dealing with heartbreak for well over a year now, closer to 2. I wasn't even dating this girl, I just really admired her for a long time, and tried to make things happen, fell harder, and boom... Things happened, words exchanged, and we haven't been friends or spoken since. I just couldn't handle it anymore, for one, but still...

    She was the absolute kind of girl that I wanted, hoped to have on my future, drove me to do things that I either didn't want to do, or thought that I couldn't do, and I honestly hoped that one day, she could somehow be the girl I would marry... It was foolish of me to feel this way, I'll admit, but idk... I couldn't even help it after liking her for years and pushing myself, like I did, to get closer to her. It's still something tho, that hurts me everyday, it just lingers in the back of my mind... For some reason I still think about her all the time, even tho I shouldn't.

    A lot of times, I just try and hang out with friends, go to work, stay busy basically... It helps for a while at least, sometimes it's like I forget it all happened! But you know, I'm not so sure if you really ever truly get over that first heartbreak... Been trying for a long while, and still, it's hard.

    It's important tho, to develop a good mindset too, a lot of it is purely mental... Just remain strong, and hopeful (for better things to come), spend time with friends and family, stay busy with work and hobbies/things you really enjoy doing, try and meet new people, visit new places, maybe even relocate. That's really all you can do, I feel...

    Good luck, and I'm sorry you had to go through this. Feel better soon! :)

    • Hope you feel better too :( This SUCKS. I don't ever want to get close to anyone again because I can't stand the thought of hurting like this again.

    • Thanks... I know what you mean. I will say that it does get a bit better through time, I just am not sure if it will ever completely fade, but supposedly it does when you find someone new, which can also take quite a while, so I'm not sure... I just hope neither of us get hurt like this again.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Keep yourself busy. Friends, hobbies, work, etc whatever you can find to take your mind off of him. The worse thing to do is be sitting around alone watching TV or what have you because all you'll really be doing is thinking about what happened.

    • Thanks. I'm trying! Midnight to 5 am is the worst...Tylenol PM has become by drug of choice 8)

    • @QA: Wow, I have trouble sleeping too, sounds like my sleep schedule right there...

    • I'm telling you...when it's dark out is when my brain goes into hyper-drive. It is BRUTAL.

What Girls Said 1

  • Time. lots of time. it will heal slowly and it will make you stronger as a person. It may take 2 months to 2 years.

    * write it down

    * go shopping

    * volunteer especially with children, their smiles and laughs are most precious

    * go to the gym

    * travel

    just keep yourself busy.

    Time will heal.

    If he lies, his not good for you.

    • Yes...he lied many times that I caught...I'm not sure how many I didn't catch. I know he wasn't good for me long term. I guess I feel so foolish for having forgiven and forgiven and STILL was the one that got dumped. I did write it all down...every day I write in a journal...and I try to remind myself of the BAD...but the hurt doesn't seem to go away. :( I'll keep trying.