Is dating a younger man such a bad thing?

I'm a recently divorced 39-year-old woman. While I'm relatively new to the dating scene, I've been trying out all sorts of things that my married self wouldn't have thought possible -- like actually going out and having fun with my girlfriends at bars, dance clubs, etc. And of course, while doing this I've met a few suitors on dating site There's one man in particular that is wonderful: he's caring, kind, has a real job that earns him good money and he is very attractive. There's only one problem: he is only 26!

At first, I thought he was in his thirties and I don't really look my age, but I've noticed that once people find out our age difference, they call me a Cougar and make other annoying comments. He says they are just being funny and that he loves spending time with me and I shouldn't care what others think or say about us if we make each other happy. He's also the first one to tell people about the age difference as if he's proud, and prior to being in this position I would've agreed, but now I'm just not sure. I don't like the strange looks or the double standard that comes with dating a younger man, and I don't know if I should break it off or not.

Part of me feels like I should just enjoy our time together, and the other says I should let him go to find someone his own age. Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're both comfortable with each other and enjoy one another's company (and the sex) then listen to what he's telling you - ignore everyone else.

    Please do not take any notice of the idiots who call you a "cougar", being older than him, does not mean you're old or a "cougar" (which is a 50 year old slut as far as I was always told). It is annoying at this age to be called something because 20-something's think life ends at 30 if you're female and that men don't have to be referred to anything when they're doing the same thing with younger girls at 50! The fact that you're older than him means you're instantly put in that cougar category which is actually derogatory to unattached women older than 30.

    Personally I know my life began at 30 and it's getting better and better with each year, same with all my friends (male & female). I pity the fools who think we're washed-up and not fit for anything at this age when all we have is what we're meant to have had after nearly a lifetime of working for it! (ie: house, car, career, plans, insurances etc).

    You're being called a cougar because men haven't yet come to terms that we step up a gear as we age and they unfortunately wither away, they find it hard to accept that you know their games and can challenge them like young girls are not equipped to. If you've found a man of 26 (let's be honest, they're boys til they're 25!) then take the plunge and enjoy what you have, you deserve a chance at love as much as anyone of any age. Don't forget though that there are a new generation of "men" wanting an "older" woman purely for her sexual experience and prowess - we don't have the same hang-ups or need to be validated the same way we did when we were younger - that's what young men are looking for in an older woman.

    I hope it works out for you, I think it will if you're both on the same page so to speak ;o)


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Man oh man, you are worrying WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much what other people think. And that is No way to live.

    And you kind of answered your own question telling us things like how he is proud to tell people about you guys.

    So what's the problem? I never got this hang up people have about age, as long as it is of legal age, and you are two adults who care about each other then who cares what the damned age difference is?

    /2 cents

  • You're being foolish if you let other people interfere with you having a good time.

    Cougars are damn awesome. Only virgins and bitches say otherwise.

  • It's a good thing, because it helps balance out the dating pools with older guys and younger gals.


What Girls Said 2

  • Not at all! Go for it! You have a second chance to find what makes you happy so take it.

  • I am 38 and won't date a guy over the age of thirty. It just feels right to date much younger men for me. Who are these other people to judge me? I know the guys my age and older who I have politely turned down and my married jealous girlfriends. That's who. Stop caring what others' think, you only have one life and if it works for you then forget the critics. Some of the guys I have dated say they totally understand and can't blame me.

    • Can you tell us you prefer men younger than you? I am just curious. :D

    • Do you mean why? I always have and I don't think it will ever change. Just like many guys only like younger women, it's not different. I get along with them better, we seem to have more in common, better conversation, better chemistry and the sexual chemistry is way better.

    • Awesome. I actually feel the same, as a younger guy. I get along much better with older girls/women. They're can be both mature and young at the same time, sexually we're much more compatible and her open-minded combined with her "out of the norm" attitude (it's abnormal for girls to like younger guys) turns me on so much.