How would dating a younger girl be challenging? For men in their 30's and up.

Would you date a girl in her early 20's (lets say 21). Why or why not?

How would dating a younger girl be challenging?

Are there any differences in dating styles between a guy in his 20's and a guy in his 30's?

For instance: I'm used to guys who text me constantly and are always trying to find out what I'm doing. Also, all of my past relationships have been rather serious.

Also, Could you picture yourself getting serious with a younger girl or would it just be a casual fling type of situation?

I ask this because I am quite interested in a man that is in his late 30's. I believe that he is attracted to me and we have excellent conversations in person. He's not great with texting though.

What are some things I could do to show this man that I'm seriously interested in him? (other than flirting which I do constantly)


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've dated PLENTY of younger girls and the things that were annoying to me were...

    1) Too hyper... always being loud and obnoxious when in public.. this included screaming with delight at the stupidest things, laughing too much, or just being overly expressive. This isn't all young girls, just a few I dated.

    Have fun and be yourself, obviously, just don't be obnoxious about being seen and heard.

    2) Too needy. It seems that as a girl moves into her 30's she tends to be more career focused and simply less needy for attention and approval. I found the girls still in college tended to be too selfish and needy and insecure compared to their older counterparts. At first this is kind of attractive, but then it becomes boring and exhausting. This includes needing to hang out every night of the week. Until we're an item I won't see you more than a few times a week... I'm too busy, and don' t be upset about it.

    3) Too much drama. For some reason the younger girls always wanted to get upset over the tiniest missteps of their friends or family. Don't bring up everything that's ever upset you when you're with your man... don't smother him with daily complaints or hysterics... save that for your girlfriends. :)

    4) Too many games. This might be the same as too much drama, but I found the younger girls always trying to do and say things to "test" me. Like needing to tell me about all the drunk guys who were trying to get them home from the bar last weekend, hoping I'll get jealous or upset, or something. Don't bother, I don't care. I trust you or I don't. If I don't we wouldn't be dating.

    5) Too many weekends spent getting completely drunk with the girls at the clubs. This sounds like an old man complaint, but that's because it is. I'm an old man I guess. But when I'm dating a girl I'm really into I just can't relate to hearing about how drunk she got the night before and how sick she feels on our date. Boring.

    Now, after all that I still LOVE women of all ages, so don't let this slow you down...

    In your case, as the young girl interested in the older guy, I would say this...

    Keep it simple. Flirt and have fun but also be serious sometimes, and share REAL stories and secrets hopes and dreams. We older guys love younger girls because they're not jaded yet, and they're full of life and hope and dreams.

    Don't smother him with text messages or emails or phone calls and don't get upset when he doesn't return them right away. He's busy. He's not trying to upset you.

    Don't get jealous of his other female friends. Guys hate that.

    Don't be too available.

    Don't be drunk all the time.

    Don't test him with fake stories.

    Just be sweet, cute, honest, and fun.

    He'll take care of the rest.


    Hope this helps,

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • Thanks, this helped a lot!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm 30, 31 in a couple weeks. I would be apprehensive about it, but I would not be opposed to it. I would be too quick to judge her actions as being immature so she would have to really prove that she's not.

    I can say that, as far as dating a guy like me at my age, here's how it would go:

    Phone/text contact would be minimal compared to what you're used to. Would mostly be to make plans to meet or do something together. And if she proved she wasn't immature, I could see it goign somewhere long term.

    • Thank you for your advice. I had heard that he had a girlfriend and I mentioned it to him in a joking way and he said who me? I have an open relationship with someone but nothing serious. Should I see this as a red flag, in your opinion? He and I seem to have an understanding of each other so I don't think he's worried about my maturity level. Do you think that me asking him about this girl would make him think I'm immature? Oh, and they barely see each other (they live in different states)

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    • Not so much a turnoff as that it could create compatibility problems.

    • I see, Thank you very much for your advice!

  • For a guy, this would not be challenging, it would be a match made to perfect, because most blokes look for a younger woman, and the reason your conversations are great is because your maturity is match, because women mature faster than men, so your mentality is at par with his, and him being late 30's, makes his mentality about 26, hope this explained a bit of why it seems great, and some things you could do to show him your interested is be forward, ask him why you have never been asked out by him, and be honest with the way you are around him, he is probably just a little reserved, and doesn't want to make the wrong move by acting on his emotions, because, with what you say, this guy has liked you for a while, good luck,x

  • There could be some issues, but it depends on the woman. I wouldn't automatically rule her out based on her age, but I would be more cautious. If I were to date a woman that was, say, 10 years younger than me, it would probably be serious and not a casual fling, though I can imagine that not all guys would think like that. If you are flirting with him and he doesn't seem to be acting on it, he is probably apprehensive about the age thing. He may think you are just a natural flirt, or maybe he is worried he is going to be viewed as a creep. Those would be my two chief concerns. I think maybe a little straightforward honesty might be your best answer. Just let him know that you are very interested in him.

    • I think that is what he is worried about, but I've been letting him know that I'm interested. I guess I'll just be straightforward with him and tell him- although I have been hinting at it.

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    • Okay, I will do that the next time I see him. Do you think that I should go so far as to ask him to meet up outside of work or just see how it plays out?

    • Sure, set up a time to see him. What have you got to lose?

  • I imagine if I were single, I'd learn to use it (single guys my age seem to) but at age 35, I've sent <20 texts. In my life.

    I'd guess most older guys are not going to text anywhere near what you're used to. We didn't grow up with it. We might learn to use it, but its ... not natural.

  • As a guy, I think the only challenge would be in dealing with the opinions of others if the two of you love one another. I'm love with a girl just a few weeks shy of 25...right now, things are iffy for some reason...most people thinking that her mother had an issue with our age difference even though she and I were only friends. When I finally get to see her (it's been over a month) and we finally get to talk, if it turns out that that is the issue, then I'm simply going to tell her that she needs to do what makes her happy, no matter what anyone else tells her and that no matter what, I'm not going to stop loving her. Anything else can be worked out by talking about it


What Girls Said 2

  • You're in your early 20s guys of all ages will want you because of your age.

    You have the advantage here.

    Are there any differences in dating styles between a guy in his 20's and a guy in his 30's? Depends on the guy, his maturity, and what he what's from you.

    Why don't you talk to him & communicate your interest?

    • Well, I flirt with him a lot and I think he understands my interest. The more I flirt with him the more he checks me out, etc. He and I always look at each other when other people are around and we both just laugh and look down.

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    • Have you told him you're interested in something serious?

      Have you asked him out?

    • No, I haven't done either because I've been trying to get to know him more and see how we interact. Also, he does work around my family so I'm trying to be careful.

  • I've seen guys of every age date women in their 20s...