I would love to get the honest opinion of some guys on this. Upon recently having this discussion with some girlfriends the opinions were very much split about this topic. Some of the girls believed that if you met a guy out had a great night but then took him home and had sex with them that this automatically means it will go nowhere after this...no matter how easy the conversation is the next morning or if numbers are swapped etc., As they believe that if the guy gets this the first time then he has nothing to chase after so looses interest, and also that he doesn't have a lot of respect for the girl because he's thinking how many other guys has she done this with?
On the other hand, some of the other girls thought that it was very old fashioned to be thinking this way and it takes two to have sex so why would he disrespect her for doing it with him, when he's more than willing!!! Also they said that if the conversation is going well the next morning and they actually click well with each other, that there is no reason why he wouldn't call and that there's as much of a chance of a proper date as there would have been if they didn't take him home.
So guys what's the truth? Although it doesn't sound very modern or cosmo of me, I think I'm leaning towards the first opinion above. But please let me know what you think.....I told the group I'd get back to them!!!
Most Helpful Guy
The first part depends on what you mean by chasing. There is a vast difference between playing hard to get for a date and playing hard to get for sex within a relationship. Pretending not to like someone to increase his anxiety or saying "no" the first time someone asks you out as a test is not something guys admire or enjoy.
On the other hand, playing hard to get in regard to sex is something that many men respect. It shows us that you have self-respect and establishes your relationship priorities. In addition to those character aspects, sex right off the bat disrupts the romance curve. Both romance and bonding relate to the unfolding of the other's personality and the emergence of a relationship in which the two parties understand each other and care about each other's feelings.
There's also a trust issue. While it's true that it takes two to tango, how comfortable could you be in your partner's fidelity when you know from experience that he or she will hit it with someone they've known for a short period of time? The stereotypical "player" avoids entanglements - one might wonder if that isn't a defense mechanism to avoid being exposed to the natural curve of that kind of relationship?
To me "old fashioned" means "way that has worked in our culture for a long time." I'm one who thinks it's a terrible idea, so I can't speak to what someone else would do that thinks it's a good idea. I guess it depends on what you're looking for - if you want a sex based relationship then I think you can have sex on the first date and see how things turn out.
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