Would be a nine be enough for you?

Hi everyone. I have a question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months.. Before he dated a girl for a month, he was really in love and she cheated on him with his best friend, we started dating after 3 months.

I asked if he really liked me, and he said he really did. But when I asked to compared what he felt with me and with her he said that he was in love with her and that he would never feel like that again because he was hurt. He said with her it was a ten and with me a 9... But that for the long run what he had with me was better. He could imagine himself with me in the future and with her no.

He also said that he is not in love now, doesn't mean we can't be in the future, its only been 4 months ( however with her was instantly).

what do you think? Should I stick around? A 9 is good right?

(note: sometimes I feel like he is in denial. He calls me everyday when he leaves work, I've met his parents, sometimes he calls me during his morning break, he always goes out of his way to see me happy...)


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) This is a typical case of a dude saying something without thinking about how it sounds first. I'm sure he meant something else by what he said, but it comes off to everyone else as sounding different.

    2) Stop worrying about him, his ex, and the silly number rating scale. Focus on your relationship.

    • sounds to me like it was pretty elaborate to ' think' about it.

      anyways its when we don't think 'first', we say what we mean.

      its like a secret wish for her to dump him,.

      or to feel his pain. he feels rejected so he wants her to feel bad too.

      its like if I can't ply with my ball no one can, but ill act like I was almost going to let you.

      QA he sounds really immature.

      I think he meant it. itll fade over time. the more time spent together, either your relationship will get stronger-or not.

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What Guys Said 1

  • All this talk seems petty to me. If he's still stuck on his ex maybe he shouldn't date yet. If his relationship was better with her, which I don't think is a great idea to ask unless you can take honesty, maybe one day it will be better with you. It sounds like either he still has some big issues with her or he is just brutally honest. I'm super honest but even I don't know if I would say my ex and my relationship was better given the same amount of time together.

    Make it easy. You should stay together if he has enough of the traits you want in a guy and you don't think there's a whole lot better out there. If your not sure about this odds are you need to do more dating. Also obviously at some point soon you need to find out if he's on board enough in regards to you. Don't wait too long if your gonna end it cause it just gets much harder.


What Girls Said 3

  • You seem to be complaining for complaining sake because what are you complaining for, she's not in the picture anymore, he's making you happy, so what if you are a nine in time you could be twelve or zero. He does sound as if he hasn't moved on though so be careful you don't end up the rebound, so stop pushing if you are truly interested and care for him then take it slow don't let stuff bother you so much and enjoy dating him.

  • Perhaps he is scared to be at a 10 for fear you will hurt him. He is trying to keep you at bay for his own sake but he doesn't seem to be doing a great job.Only you can decide to stay with him or not. How do you feel about him? How do you feel about being put at a 9? When you figure this out then you will know if 9 is good enough for you.

    • why is it every time a guy is honest - he's scared.so many scared guys. people say women play gams, but guys are scared, every time' oh he's scared.'

      I think he's being a jerk. he didn't have to say anything like that. it'd have been better to just break up with her

      the fact he wanted her to know he was happier after one month, than he is with her after 4... its like saying 'be better'.. imo its manipulative.

      10, 9 its all silly. but if he's going to down size 9, is as good as 0. petty Q too.

  • If it were me then I'd dump him.I couldn't be any mans second choice.

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