What is wrong with me?

I know this question popped up before but I want to find my own answers

Form time to time I have been "hooking up" with girls. This rangers from ALMOST dating them to plain out having sex with them. Also there has been cases when I liked a girl, but she liked someone else or has a boyfriend. I mean I understand the saying "there might be a goalie, but you can always make the goal." But it never seems to be the case.

Two brief stories: There was this girl I really liked. and she really liked me. We would tell each other everything and we would have a lot in common., I really though she was the one. But then her best friend told me a lot of stuff about her that I didn't even picture her doing (One of which is an important one, where she was still in love with her ex, even while talking to me). I would ask her out and she always gave "oh I am not ready, I want to wait" or " I want to wait till school starts". Well I go on her faceobok page and see that she is constantly talking to her ex. Status responses, wall posts, etc. And she would hang out with him alot. And when I confronted with her about it (after ignoring her alot), She came out and said she liked him when she first hung out with him again, which is 2 weeks after we started being intimate. So I felt lied to

Another is this girl I slept with on a Sunday in the spring and again one week ago. I felt I was going to date her, and she thought I was ignoring her for one day the following Monday, so she got mad at me. I started texting her the next day and she has been ignoring me back. Then at a Toga party I just see her with another guy dancing, cuddling, making out, the works. I was livid (and depressed drunk after talking to the other girl, in which she was saying how wrong I was for everything and I was a bad person).

So after those two stories, I wonder why, Why do I always have to deal with these girls that screw me over after I am willing to give it all. Why do nice guys lose all the time? Why is it that I am failing constantly in trying to get a girlfriend?


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  • Sometimes you have to dig through the bad apples to find the real gems...It's tough, but all you can do is keep trying and keep meeting nice girls.

    Another possibility, now that I think about it, is that you're getting too intimate too fast. If you're sleeping with them before even starting to date them, they might end up using you/seeing you JUST as a hookup or a rebound, etc., not as a potential serious boyfriend. You don't seem to have problems in the flirting department...use those skills to date first and then get intimate later.

    • true...very true, because the second girl (ironically she did this to be FIRST) thought I used her for sex...which is not true

    • Yup...Girls will think either that, or they'll think, "hey this is just a casual hookup, no strings attached, let me just get it out of my system." And then if you try to make things more serious, they won't take you seriously. (Kind of like the problem a girl who gives in on the first date, has with guys respecting her as a potential gf).

      You gotta frame it the way you want it to turn out. Try dating first like I suggested and see if that improves your relationship prospects.