Why do women kick you when you are down?

As my life has been falling apart over the past few years a so called friend of mine said she would take me out and I could talk to her about it. On our way to get something to eat she gets a call from some guy she's sleeping with and talks to him for about 45 mins. We've already gotten our table and finished eating. She asked me how life was and when I told her horrible she said "Don't talk about that you'll ruin my mood." Then after the verbal diarrhea about this new guy she is sleeping with and her still sleeping with her old boyfriend she decides it's time to leave and on the way to taking me home she almost wrecks us while trying to text message one of these guy's she's sleeping with. She said she would love to spend more time with me and talk but she had to go over to one of those guy's houses to "take care of business." I've been treated this way by every woman I've ever met. Even my own Mother abounded me when my dad died. Why do they treat people like this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "If your a doormat, people will walk on you."

    People treat you like this because you let them. If a girl in a relationship lets me walk on her, I will stomp her out so hard she'll deflate.

    She spoke on the phone for 45 minutes, after 5 minutes I would've eaten all my food and left her and her cell phone the check as that was her company tonight. This is what I mean by you letting people walk on, why the heck didn't you either ask her or spike her cell phone on the ground and leave?

    "Even my own Mother abounded me when my dad died"

    - this unfortunantly is the deep rooted reason why you attract these type of women. Guys seek attention that is similar to how their mom interacted with them emotionally. You look for someone who treats you coldly and ill, This is just built in you but can very well be changed once you've reconized the symptoms that leads you to find these bitches.

    My advice to you is: Learn to say no and do things your way from time to time, don't be a doormat.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Because they are selfish. It sounds as though this girl was too preoccupied to deal with anything but her. I'm sorry you have to go through this. The best advice I can give you is that at the end of the day you have only you to support you. Take care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually (not saying it has to be religious or anything), and emotionally. It's difficult at first but once you have it down you will feel a lot better about yourself. Be picky when picking friends and take your time to get to know them. Good luck.

  • The messed up thing is that when her sneaky, selfish activity catches up to her she's going to run to you for support. She is going to look for the same support you were seeking from her, what will you do then?

    I like what jbone79 said, bottom line you have to take care of yourself and choose your friends and who you label friend wisely. She is clearly, self-centered. Sorry you have to go through this and have had such an experience with your mom. Maybe consider the characteristics your "friend" has as well as those of your mother and compare them. Once you considered certain things about their character that you do not like, try to keep this in mind when seeking new female friends. Not all women would do this to you. Hope you come across a good friend who can support you when you need it most.

  • WOMEN in general do that, or the selfish broads you associate yourself with. Ask yourself why you would seek and maintain a friendship with someone who treats you that way. You said your mother abandoned you when your dad died. I'm sorry that happened to you but do you think that has affected your adult relationships with women? There are people out there who do have respect and compassion for others. I would never treat a friend like that, or anyone at all. You just have to find good people to be around. Good luck.


What Guys Said 6

  • Look I'm gonna be honest here. You are too nice and women see this as a weakness in you. This girl is an attention seeker and will use your kind nature for her selfish advantage. She sees you as a person to turn to when she wants attention. When she is down and needs you, she will ring you and say "hey can we meet up, I need to chat to you", you will then meet her up and she will talk about all her problems, you will offer her advise and be a shoulder for her to cry on etc.She will thank you and feed you will bullshit that your a good mate.

    However when she has "better" things to do, she will neglect your feelings and won't give a f*@k about you. Do you think this is fair? Do you really think she is a good friend? Is she a good person in your life? NO!

    I say you need to iron this girl out of your life. She will only bring your mood down with her inconsistent behaviour, will only carry on using your good nature. What I also say is to make sure your not too nice, keep regular contact with people who are good friends and get rid of not so nice people from your life. Obviously this is gonna hurt you for a little while but as the weeks go on and you have cleared your life from bad people like this girl, you will start to feel positive and this will project on what you do on a daily basis.

  • Here's my advice to you man,

    #1. You are in control of how you react to the events within your lifetime. You can be angry and hurt by all of this and do nothing and life will destroy you. Or, there is another way.

    #2.Take control of your life. Get away from anything and everything that is negative. Friends, family, everything. If it is not there to be a postive part of your existence, then eliminate it from your life.

    #3. Education. I don't know what your level of education and income is like, but start going to college or working towards it if you have'nt done so already.

    #4. Exercise. I don't know what shape your in, but exercising can help elimintate stress and it builds confidence. And honestly, confidence and positive energy is what you need right now.

    #5. Start planning your future. If you feel empty, alone, and hopeless. Well, that's how you will end up. Empower yourself by planning and setting goals for yourself. Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years. You get the idea.

    #6. Learn from all of this. Don't ever do to others what they have done to you. Not all women are bad. Treat every person in your life with kindess and respect, even if they don't show it to you. When you start dating women again, treat them all fairly and be open, honest, and respectful. Even if it doesn't work out, you did the right thing.

    What I'm getting at here is this: You gotta work, fight, and strive to live up to what you want to be in life and where you want to end up. Refuse to settle for anything less than the best. Build your empire one brick at a time, and the rest will fall into place. I hope this helps. It worked for me. - j

    • Keep it up jbone79, not bad, not bad at all...I couldn't have said it better...god it's good to know that there are other CONFIDENT men out there...good luck bro

    • Thanks max! Its ok to be confident as long as you keep it honest and positive. that makes all the difference!

  • I think jbone was spot -on, but I have a few more thoughts:

    The way people treat you is not always one-sided.

    To an extent, we train people in how to treat us. if someone disrespects you [intentionally or otherwise] and you don't object, they'll think you don't care if they disrespect you.

    while your friend chatted for 45 minutes, did you sit there quietly and wait patiently for her to finish? if so, that gave her the impression that you didn't care.

    a better way to handle that situation would have been to interrupt her after she took the call and say, "pardon me but are we going to talk, or are you going to finish your call?" or if you tried to interrupt and she keeps talking, you could have walked away and said "we'll have to finish this another time."

    it's a long-winded way of saying that simply because someone disrespects you doesn't mean you have to take it.

    tell someone off occasionally -- don't be a jerk about it, but stand up for yourself and say "I don't like it when you do A,B or C to me." sometimes people won't like it, especially if you've previously been passive. but the confidence you get from standing up for yourself is valuable.

  • First of all. you should have left when she was at least 10 mins on the phone. People don't take you seriously, you have to sort yourself out, because the person that loves you the most is yourself

    Dont be a wuss to go crying to some girl. Take care of your own business. Don't be a needy guy, its not attractive because you will have nothing to offer.

    I can see you are a needy guy because you are talking about this girl and you start to bring up about your mother and Dad (RIP). That's 3 things I have to comfort you with.

    Not being rude, but it just drains people, I mean from a different person's point of view yeah when I'm down you will be there for me, but how often am I down and how often are you down. you understand.

    Take care of your own business, that what guys do. Don't be going to crying to some girl, and especially trying to 'cockblock' another guy's pussy. common man, guys take care of each other, she is not your GF, so if she got some booty call its her business.

    You say people do this a lot, because you a needy a lot.

    Go gym, work out like crazy, join a sport, that's what relieves stress instead of crying to some girl who couldn't care less about you.

    As your confidence grow, you meet different people and naturally begin to select good friends from a larger poll of people.

    And watch how those other girls will come back running, and I guess from your age their biological clock will be ticking. What you do is you run away from such girls.

    People are basically selfish.

    For friends we want strong people that will take of business, not some needy guy, that's basically reiterating my point of people are selfish.

    Sorry to be a bit harsh to you, but I'm just being real,. I actually thought through and hard about your question, I didn't just tell you some generic response that you want to and expected to hear.

    you have to think what do I have to offer, 'i will be there for them when they need me' is not good enough. Its only a promise of which you might not want to or be capable to follow through, so what they suppose to do.

  • Some people just think it's all about them, not just women.

    If I were you, I'd cut off contact with this woman ASAP.

  • Women in the US have a well deserved repuation for not caring about anything but themselves, and society gives them a free pass for two timing, deception, and self involvement far more than they do for guys, FAR more.

    It's part of the mainstream culture, and the reason so many guys including me wind up with women from a minority culture!

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