If you just started dating someone, would you continue your plan to leave for a couple of months?

I just started dating this guy and before we started dating he told me that he was planning on visiting his friend in florida for the winter. He never said anything else about it until a couple of days ago, now he is saying he is leaving after the new years and will be back in march. He doesn't have plane tickets or anything he plans on driving. He said that we could still talk while he was away. I'm not sure how I should take this. He knows I don't want him to go, but he is going anyways. Should I just let him go and wait for him? Should I tell him its over until he can decide wether he really wants to be with me?

-helpless and confused


Most Helpful Guy

  • My cousin was in a slightly different situation, whereby he was planning on going overseas to Europe for a while to explore the world. A couple of months before he left, he met a girl. In that two months, he got her pregnant. Now, he's unable to travel because he has two kids (she got pregnant again soon after the first one was born). Of course he loves them, but it has meant that he won't be able to travel for quite some time, since he's forced by budgetary constraints to spend his days working to earn an income to support the family.

    Life needs to be lived your own way while it still can. In a couple of month's time when he returns, if this boy's still in your life, then he's definitely a keeper. If he slowly fades away from you, then it just wasn't meant to be.

    In the time that he's away, if he keeps in contact, then don't go out and have any flings. However, if he loses all contact, don't be afraid to have a love life outside of him.

    Probably best way to take it is to let him go for his trip, wait for him to return, and then decide on your future then. Make your hand(s) or a toy your sex life for a while. It's only two months after all... Remember being a younger kid when two months without a partner was just the usual, because you'd spent YEARS without one?

    If, for whatever reason, you meet this really amazing guy while he's gone, tell him your situation, and you can decide what you want to do from there. Should your current boyfriend be replaced while he's gone, make sure you tell him. You're both young though, so as much as love may still be an ideal, it's best not to go breaking people's hearts while they're away for such a relatively short time.

    Of course, should he cheat on you while he's away, split ASAP (even if it's on the phone or online), and go out and find that really amazing guy and have the time of your life.

    Hope that helps a bit...


    • Given that you've only started going out with this guy and nothing serious seems to have happened yet, I wonder: Is it appropriate to start seeing other guys in the meantime during those 3 months (nothing romantic/sexual -- just dinner/movie dates)?

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What Guys Said 1

  • If he was planning this trip before the two of you were even together then I think it's unfair to not let him go in my opinion. Maybe he's promised a close friend he would see him or whatever for a long time now. I would suggest staying in touch with him and letting him know that you really like him & perhaps he can arrange for you to meet him or he could go back to you at least for Valentine's Day. Even if he can't afford to do that, you can wait for him to come back to you and the two of you could end up being together for the rest of your lives, you never know.


What Girls Said 2

  • 3 months...hmm...that's it. For me..HOLY CRAP THAT WOULD BE HEAVEN! I have to deal with 15 month deployments. Honestly, be thankful that's all the time he'll be away. Thousands of couples have to deal with more, and their significant other is in a war zone on top of it.

    Anyways, let him go! He's been planning this before you two started dating. I'd be pissed of my husband told me I couldn't go see my friend for a little while, especially if we were only dating. He's just going to visit a friend for goodness sakes! Save up some money and go visit him while he's out there! Just because he wants to take a trip doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you either.

  • plan for new years and back in MARCHHHH? Well gal march is too far away.. I think he has a gal back there ...strong gut feelin...i many be wrong tough

    Well do not take hasty decisions plzzzz sit back and relax...jus relax...tell him you wanted him to be here for the new years...(well most couples wanna be 2gether on this day and valentine's of course) if he still insists on going ... calmly get to know whom he is visiting..abt his friend ..name ..what he does for a living..be sure do not be too nosy here..or he'll think you are insecure ...meanwhile keep a track of how he responds to the questions you are asking...

    if he goes to FL ..You will know where this relationship is heading once he is gone.. let him do the calling..atleast you know he is thinkin abt you...see how he responds to this long distance relationship for those 3 months...then you can make ur decision. to wait for him or/ to leave him

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