Infatuation, lust or the beginnings of love?

I am in a serious relationship it's three years now!

I recently met another woman, I now work with.

She and I connected instantaneously when we first met and I am highly attracted to her!

She recently found out that I have a girlfriend & she was upset with me! I am working on fixing that!

Nothing has happened yet but I do want her. What scares me is I love my girlfriend and want to marry her, but I also want to explore my feelings for this other woman.

I know these feelings are real, because when I think of being with her I want to make love to her & not just have sex!

I don't want to leave my girlfriend though. Is it possible to have strong feelings for more than one person?

Is it OK if I act on it? Am I an douche if I do?

Please help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely agree what the two guys have answered so far- if you're still seeing new girls and becoming interested in them, or tempted to cheat with them then you're in no way ready for marriage. You're also not mature enough to handle the type of relationship you're in. Yes, of course you're a douche bag if you do anything with her while you're still with your girlfriend. You're clearly not ready for a long term, life time commitment.

    If you really want her then break up with your current girl and go f*** the other chick. But if you do I promise you two things- 1. Your girlfriend will never take you back. Or she'd be a god damn idiot to do so because you're a d***. 2. Even if you don't regret it the pattern won't stop. You're not ready for a long term relationship, you're still in the "I want all the candy!" phase. You'll date her but sooner or later another girl will come along and you'll just run off with her.

    Wanting sex is wanting sex. You can't tell you love someone because you want to do it gently. That's still lust, not love. Love is when you don't even think about sex, just about that person, making her smile, watching her laugh, no physical contact what-so-ever. Yes sex is a way to show love and appreciation but wanting to make love as opposed to f*** does not mean you love someone. Lust. That's all this is.

    I feel bad for your girlfriend.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • If you love your girlfriend, then you wouldn't act on how you feel with this new girl.

    You are only feeling these feelings because she is someone new..and someone you can't exactly get unless you are single...or at least it would be hard to sleep around with her and your girlfriend. I do not know..I think you are just bored with your Girlfriend and this may be why. Try doing something new ith her. Don't cheat on her..and if you are thinking of other girls..maybe you should just break up with her..and be by yourself for a bit..until you really know what you want?

  • LOL! Check-out my question...seriously weird:



What Guys Said 2

  • The fresh feeling when meeting a new woman is overwhelming!

    Once again you wear the pink glasses and feel like a little boy who wants a candy!

    But you can't afford this candy! Unless you're hosting a harem!

    Yes - you would be a douche if you go for the candy girl while NOT single!

    Also... I highly doubt your ability to be a good husband if you're still not over the candy phase!

    When you marry a woman she's THE ONLY ONE for you until you're 6 feet under the ground!

    It sickens me that people don't take marriage seriously anymore!

  • "I know these feelings are real, because when I think of being with her I want to make love to her & not just have sex!"

    Sex is sex. You're horny and bored of your girlfriend. Perhaps you just haven't been with enough women to appreciate and be happy in a long term relationship.

    End things with your girlfriend first. Don't be a cheating a-hole.

    Then you can pursue this new girl.

    After things fail miserably there perhaps there is a slight chance your girlfriend will take you back.

    The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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