Is it really so bad for girls to actually pay money? Why are guys so against it?

To me, its plain simple sense that I pay my own part (or sometimes the one who asks pays for the first date unless the other one offers to pay part but that should be as far as it goes) because going by common sense just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I should be paid for that's just stupid! But yet some guys are offended when a girl pays her part... why? Do guys just lack self respect? I feel sorry for the sensible guys...

On the other hand I haven't actually witnessed it much, just read about it (but its not like I know details of everyone's dates so I obviously can't say what goes on...) maybe this is a US thing, and I live in the UK, but anyway what's so bad about a girl having sense and paying her own part and not expecting the guy to just because of what reproductive organs he has


Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree. Especially for young, shy guys, they are trying to pay as a sign that it is a 'date' not just two friends hanging out. Its not that you now owe them, its just that your acceptance of them paying shows that you accept that it is a 'dating' scenario, and you paying could be a sign that you want to keep it just friends.

    If you want to pay and he is trying to decline, a little flirting to let him know he's not being shot down by you paying would be in order.

    • "Especially for young, shy guys, they are trying to pay as a sign that it is a 'date' not just two friends hanging out."

      That's stupid, why do they think that?

    • Show All
    • If you want to pay half the time, that's fine, but if you can't receive a gift (which is what someone paying for you is) then that's something for you to mentally overcome. Do you freak out if someone gets you a birthday gift? I assume not. Its the same idea. If you want to ask him out and pay half the time, go right ahead. But don't freak out because someone does something or buys something for you, assuming its appropriate.

    • Birthday gifts are fine and I appreciate them, and of course I would give a guy birthday gifts as well

      And its good of course for us to get each other gifts... not too much though because then it would seem creepy

      And its good for us to treat each other sometimes... but it shouldn't always be the guy

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Here's one answer...

    When a girl offers to pay or immediately pays you back after you buying her something it signals that she wants to feel zero obligation to you. Which equates to her not liking you and just wanting to be friends or whatever. She doesn't want it in the guys head that he might get some other type of payment.

  • Personally I think a girl who insists on going dutch is awesome. It gets my respect more than a girl who ends up leaving me paying for everything.

    • ^^ does that happen to you often? also what age/age group are you?

    • 31. this has been my view for as long as I've been dating. and and no unfortunately it doesn't happen often. in fact...

      there has only been one girl I ever dated who insisted on going dutch on our dates. her name is April and we only went out twice. the way she insisted upon going dutch left a positive impression on me and made me regret that it ended before it could ever really begin. things like that make me remember her as sticking out from the rest.

  • It's an ego thing.

    • Well I don't think it makes guys look cool I think it makes them look like idiots who can be controlled easily

What Girls Said 1

  • link

    Well a lot of guys feel the way you do and want to be treated like princesses. lol AS a woman that would want a man to pay I see it as a sign of respect same with opening the door. I mean in the U.S women pay for the men a lot of times and I call those men losers or deadbeats. But a lot of people say it has to do with equal rights. That's the opposite perspective.

    • I want to slap you! What do you do in return?

      Do what I did, imagine you were a guy, how would you feel?

    • Lol well slap me haha. I cook for him if we don't go out. lol And if we hit it off I'll have sex and give him my virginity or bare his children which is worth more than any popcorn lol. I have self worth, I'm sorry you don't.