What's the funniest voice mail greeting you've ever heard?

What's the funniest voice mail greeting you've heard? Or that you've left?

Best one I've heard..."Hey, it's Jake. Leave your name, social security number, home address and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks, bye."

Here's another one..."Hi, you've reached the (N/A) family and we can't come to the phone because...we're having way too much fun...(all sorts of loud gaming noises and laughter)...BEEP)"


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi. This is Jeff:

    If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.

    If you are my parents, please send money.

    If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.

    If you are my friends, you owe me money.

    If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.



Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Kid 1: "Hello, you reached the _____ family, we're not home right now but please a message. Oh and Jesus loves you!"

    Kid 2: "NO! Jesus loves ME!"

    Kid 1: "Nuh uh!" Ruffling fighting sound---- BEEP

  • I've got two favorites one was something like:

    “NOBODY expects the voice mail! There is one thing to say- your number... number and name... name and number... There are two things to say name and number...and a brief message... You should say three things- number, name and a brief message... and when you called... the *four*...no... *Amongst* the four... Amongst the four...are such elements as name, number and... Just call again.”

    And this kid did his voice mail answer when he was hi and it went something like:

    Hey... This is uh this is ____. I'm not answering... I can't answer the phone and... Hi, just leave a message... I need to call back. So leave a uh... a number, too... bye.

  • My grandmother’s recording: Hello, you’ve reached an answering machine. So please why don’t you leave a message---BEEP

    • Has she never had an answering machine before?

    • Yes, she's had the same recording since she first got an answering machine. Even after she got a new machine a few years ago, she still recorded the same message.

  • this was my friend's voice mail for the lonnggessttt time.

    "hi, youve reached (hername), I cannot answer this device at the moment. please leave your name, the reason you called and the color of your underwear. ill get back to you if I'm wearing the same color. bye!"

    love her to death.


What Guys Said 3

  • The funniest one I've ever heard was..."Hello... Hey! What's up... I'm not home at the moment please leave your name and number after the beep.

    • Suppose to be bigger spaces between the hello and hey what's up but GAG shortened it. Basically enough time for you to respond in between each part, and then finding out that you were just trolled.

    • One of my friends did something like that once. I fell for it, I admit lol.

  • for 8 years my home answering machine's message was, "I'm sorry my mom can't come to the phone right now because she is Jacki Chan!" what inspired 6 year old me to say that? I have not a clue but it was so funny that it was still there until a few years back

  • "Hey, it's John. I am probably at the bar so come here and find me ONLY IF- you are a woman and want to provide me with some sort of sexual act or bring me more money to buy more booze with. Anything else please hang up now because I am not going to listen to your message anyway".