Why did he call me?

so I have not heard from this man in 2 1/2 months. I had moved home away from the city we were living 5 hours away for monetary and health reasons. We had a very interesting and close dating relationship while I lived there and this man could not commit. I loved him...he told me he loved me all of the time but, still could not call me his girlfriend said he was not ready for a relationship. This obviously tore me up. When I got back home I had enough time to decompress and bring up the subject again ... about my feelings. So I would text him or leave him voice mails because "he was too busy working"...which he is and was working a lot. This has been confirmed. He would send text back that read I miss you and I love you and honestly it got to the point where it pissed me off to hear him say these things! Feelings but no commitment? One phone conversation I had with him I accused him of wanting to have his cake and eat it too and that this was the basis of our relationship and told him our relationship was a friends with benefits type of relationship. And he got ANGRY. told me that he wined and dined me and took care of me and was there for me when I needed it (which he was and did do all of these things) and that he was working and he would call me the next day. Well...he never called and I did not hear from him for 2 1/2 months. Well I have sent him some angry text messages off and on for the past 2 1/2 months without any response... so I thought I was blocked or he just was not getting one...so the other day I sent him a message telling him I did not miss him anymore. That I realize our relationship was effed up and that I was over all of it. and guess who calls me 30 minutes later...him...saying he loved and misses me and cares for me and he is sorry he couldn't get back to me...that he working a lot and taking too many classes in school and that he is being stretched too thin...and again he was sorry he couldn't get back to me...he loves and cares for me...that he was going kind of crazy...and for me to call him when I can and that he will talk to me soon. ...I did respond to him and in a round about way and told him that I was happy to hear from him. But, I am kind of kicking myself because this scenario is just ridiculous. What am I going to do? I mean don't get me wrong...he is that man that you can never forget and though I did not have the commitment we really did have a good relationship...effed up though. I just don't know what goes through a man's head when he is like this. Is he just full of himself or what? he always use to call me his ray of sunshine..his achilles heel...all this BS or was it. I don't know! He told me to patient with him and I wasn't ...I wanted my relationship with him after a year of no strings! I am also not going to lie a lot of texts I sent him in the past were kinda crazy but aren't we all. I thought he was done. I was told a month ago to give his stuff I still have back to one of our mutual friends and not him! UGH MEN

***and if I do still care for him...and feel a little like I should give it a chance and talk to him again...I mean seriously...should I? I dunno? I am beyond confused. I mean I haven't called him yet...though I have sent him a few long winded text messages about my feelings on the situation being happy yet not knowing what to think and guess what? haven't heard from him in a few days again. LOL but, I don't care about that. I am use to hearing from him every 6 weeks now. what is the benefit?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It doesn't matter why he did it. What matters is the fact you know what will become of it, and it's best to move on.

    • agreed ... too bad I guess.

    • Once you end a relationship it's best to never look back. Don't be sold on the good times. The bad times are the reason why you are here now.

    • thanks I doubly agree

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What Guys Said 2

  • You guys aren't even talking enough and are away to far. Just because someone can't be committed to a relationship you shouldn't be to angry. He probably has a different definition of being committed to it like he thinks it gonna involve getting married or having kids and he's sounds really busy and tied up with everything maybe that's why.

  • UGH MEN yup sounds about right lol some of us can be like that, we all look for a commitment then when we finally get close to one we screw it up for stupid reasons the fact that he's contacting you means he's accepting it. So now he's trying to be brave show him the support, I'm not saying your the bad guy we guys are a pain but he's trying just give it a go you may regret it otherwise.

    • "So now he's trying to be brave show him the support, I'm not saying your the bad guy we guys are a pain but he's trying just give it a go you may regret it otherwise."

      Thanks for your reply. Could you elaborate what you are saying here. Are you saying he is accepting that he screwed up and now he is trying to give it another go? I mean what is the support I should be giving him. LOL

    • yes that's what I mean sorry ha ha I mean support as in don't be too angry I mean sure he's going to expect you to be pissed off, I just mean don't be like angry angry I can't explain I just hope you can understand lol

    • haha thanks. well we will see... I am moving back to our city in a few months to continue school. I just don't know if I can get into it again. I think I am just going to give him the friend card. He is one of the very few men I have been involved with that I can be a buddy with. We did have a great relationship and have that basis of friendship and if he doesn't like that then oh well. haha. thanks

What Girls Said 1

  • NO.

    You need to get over him. He clearly doesn't have the same intentions for this relationship and maybe the thrill of the chase excites you, but after all this time its rediculous. Find someone who can better meet your needs. Clearly he knows he has you wrapped around his finger.

    And don't contact him because that gives him a feeling of power.

    tap out from this sh*ttt.