I'm going to have a hard time settling down one day?

My whole life, whenever I liked someone, it was always an "exclusive crush". I never liked anyone else at the same time, and I fantasized about first kisses and weddings and everything... Every time, I thought I was in love with the guy. About a year and a half ago, the guy I liked told me that he didn't feel the same way. Ever since then I've been... Different. He was very respectful about it and honorable, and he has continued to be an amazing friend, and I like him still, but I suddenly have crushes on TONS OF PEOPLE. I have NEVER liked so many people at once. The neighbor, a guy in one of my classes, 3 guys at my church, PLUS the original guy. At first I though it was healthy, like I am finally moving on and being less obsessive, but I like so many guys that it kind of freaks me out. I don't want to end up guy crazy and obsessive about having a boyfriend like some of my friends, and I'm afraid that if I continue to like all these guys, I'm going to have a hard time settling down one day. I also have the fear that I won't be faithful to my boyfriend/spouse (at least in my mind, even if I don't cheat). Anybody else have this happen? Or have any suggestions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Dont worry! As younger people, I feel like we focus on one PERFECT guy! And they are THE ONE and they are all we want!

    And then we grow up and mature- as you did getting turned down- and realize, no one is perfect. There is not just one match for us in the world. Therefor, you open your eyes to all these people who are not quite "perfect" but have some element to them that attracts you. Maybe one guy is the bad boy, one is the cute one, the goofy one, etc etc. We can be attracted to many different qualities. But don't worry, you will mature again, and realize which person is the right kind for marrying, because there is a big difference between boyfriend material and husband amterial. Don't fret, you are perfectly normal. Have fun while you are young!


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  • I've had the same thing happen to me recently. Except I'd been with someone for so long that now that I'm trying to move on I find so many guys attractive. What I've realized is that I'm just finding new things I find attractive in a person. I never really dated much before, so in a way I'm learning to see more of what I would want in a guy. Hope that makes sense, but I definitely agree with aestuum answer!

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