Has this ever happened to you while dating, and how did it turn out?


I'm sorry that this is so long, but I really am only including the details that I think are important.

I have been dating this great guy for 2 months. After 3 dates, he asked me to be exclusive (I like him so I agreed and cut the other guys lose immediately). After 5 dates, he started referring to me as his girlfriend. One night he called me - very drunk - and kept telling me how he is in love with me and how he thinks that I am the best girl that he has ever met. I told him that I really like him a lot. I didn't want to throw around the "L" word when drunk.

We went out the next night, and we were both acting a little distant, but we had a good time. Then he said (out of the blue), "I'm still going to do what I want and see my friends when I want and travel when I want". I said "OK. that's good. it''s your life. you don't have to tell me."

Over the next few weeks, he still called me every night, but the conversations were shorter and text messages fewer and lacking all of the cute names that he called me.

I did ask him if everything was alright the next time I saw him because he seemed really distant. He was open and told me that we both had insecurities we had to work through - together. Everything continued - communication was weird, but dates were amazing.

He called me to talk about our plans for the weekend, and he said to me that we moved too fast he wasn't looking for pressure. He needs his weekends to get things done (this is when we typically see each other). He said we can see each other sometimes on the weekend and let's meet up on weeknights, and no sleeping pver or talking every night for an hour on the phone because he doesn't want to change who he is. I never asked him for any of this - I swear! He is the one that asked for everything, and I reminded him of this. To this, he responded - "I'm sorry. Maybe this is just my insecurity from my past relationship coming out (2+ year relationship ended 6 months ago, and she was apparently very controlling). He said he wants to continue to date me exclusively, but I can date other people if I need to although he would prefer I didn't! WTH!

Since then, communication has dramatically decreased, and we went out on a date a few nights ago. It was like everything was fine. He kept holding my hand and calling me "honey" and "baby." Then, right back to the slow texting...(he still texts 1-2 times per day and calls every 2-3 days).

I have never experienced this before, and I need some advice:

(1) What should I do?

(2) Does a successful relationship ever result from a "slow down"?

(3) Is this just a way to "fade out"?

(4) Guys - have you ever done this, even if you liked a girl/woman?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • this to me is lack of interest but knows your the best thing he will have until something better comes along, so really, he likes you but only as much as the next girl, your not special in his heart anymore, your just a girl, still his girlfriend, but he thinks, there's better round the corner, hence the reason he comes across as cold and makes a point of telling you he is his own man, and a bloke does not use another woman as an insecurity, so that's an excuse being used up there, you sound very talented, so you can do better if you really wanted to, you have talent, they won't go unnoticed, its just that this guy thinks his sh*t don't stink,xx good luck,x


What Girls Said 1

  • what happened in the end? did you guys end up as a couple? I'm going though a problem just like this. :(