Relationships and showing commitment?

Why is it only appropriate for women to declare or show their commitment?

this question has been plaguing me for a while now. why is it that it's OK for women to be committed and head over heals in emotional love with a guy, but whenever a guy feels that way about a girl, the girl gets uncomfortable with it or loses attraction or both? it's OK for a woman to just sit back and enjoy the emotional ride, but a guy has to control himself, and stay "strong". why? and then they say they want a guy to love them, but when that happens, they aren't comfortable with it!

just because we're men, doesn't mean we don't want to be in love too. I don't want to have to control my emotions around a woman. control how deep I fall for her. I want to feel the ride too. I just wish that I felt like there was a woman out there that I could love that would actually allow me to be human.


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  • IMHO, a lot to do with the way many people act is embedded in the societal norms. In North America societal norms are born out of media: TV, commercials, movies, advertisements.

    We are preached that the genders are equal - but they're not. Women are preached to be independent and individualistic - and many believe they are even though they're not.

    So when it comes to relationships there are certain expectations of a man (gender inequality) and women pretend to be independent. Therefore, when media tells us that independent women need a strong man certain women eat that right up.

    Independent women can't show their emotions either right? I mean that's what they are told by society - they MUST be strong.

    Result: Women pretending to be strong and men expected to be strong... All the while no one knows what 'strong' really means.

    God Bless America

    • i just hate all the gender norm bs, were all the same. I'm human, I feel the same things as everyone else, I feel emotions just like women do, and so do other guys, and like emotionally distant men, there are emotionally distant women just as well. that comes down to the person.

      i just want to be appreciated for being a loving, respectable guy, instead of all the respect going to the jerk with no class and doesn't know how to truly love. but because I'm loving, I'm "less of a man" or a creep. bs

    • I feel the same way. It's tough to show your emotions when you have a bunch of pressure on your shoulders. But I am from Europe where romance is perfectly normal and healthy, and I can tell you, after living 15 years in North America, I think I'm going back.

      NO offense to North Americans.

    • none taken. a lot of people suck here.

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