Playing hard to get, how do you do it as a guy?

This concept seems to allude me and seems to be somewhat necessary when perusing quality girls. Maybe it isn't that I don't know how to play "hard to get" but perhaps I come across as over eager.

My life is busy with work as well as socially. I try to make things as efficient as possible in all aspects in life including relationships, but I'm getting the sense that this approach isn't working so well.

For example, if a girl says that she is busy one night, I'll ask what other night(s) will work and work around her schedule. If there are many days in between the dates I feel compelled to text her something just to keep the interest alive, but maybe this is counter-intuitive.

I try not to text to often and I generally don't send texts constantly or send many in a row when someone doesn't respond.

Maybe in general, I could use some pointers as "luring her in" and then how to back off as to create the right amount of balance during the dating phases of a relationship.

I generally get many girls numbers and meet them in a variety of ways, and I can tell, initially, they are interested in getting to know me better. . . ..but then after 1 or 2 dates I notice there is an inverse relationship between how much I like a girl and my chances of actually being with her . . . . and it's gotten so prolific, I can usually predict when their interest will fall and I will fail to get a text back or get cancelled on for a date.

Ladies: think hard about your experiences with guys, do I sound like a guy you dated? What ruined your attraction? Any tips?

Guys: how do I get out of this funk? do you notice the same trends? do I need to start cancelling some of my dates to reschedule at a later time in order to play hard to get?


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  • The first half of your question describes me exactly. I can't wait to see more answers on this!

    One thing I've been trying to do lately is tell myself I don't care. I've been trying to make myself think it really doesn't matter what happens between us because I'll just start talking to another girl. It's given me a little bit better results, but still not the complete solution to the problem.

  • hey my friend I have been and sorta still in the same boat.

    i can't comment on everything you showed us but one thing hits me. you say it is a recuring patern. well, I'm sorry to say but after 2-3 dates girls of 2000' are expecting some big move on your part.

    i'm farly new to this, but I tried the calm sensitive traditional approach.. many dates, some restaurants, some walks, bars, etc.

    even if the night went really well and we enjoyed it, I sorta noticed they would still start to lose interest.

    then I started f**** them. on the first or second night.

    then I became the center of their little world.

    i'm tired of hearing how much girls don't think as much about sex or what-not, I'm pretty sure their little minds are pretty twisted to say the least.

    don't listen to your mother or sisters; they [women] want you to take total control, to submit them. that is a fact.

    good luck.

    • I have a failry good sense of what you mean and I completely agree with you. I think that maybe with girls I REALLY don't want to screw up with, I'll be hesitant and not in a comfortable position to make a physical move. The girls that I'm NOT as into seem to work out better resulting in sex within 3 dates. maybe it's my methods or maybe these girls are more desperate for sex? who knows. I'm not very good at learning from my mistakes in this regard. any other tips getting sex within 3 dates?

    • and this is where (IMO) you are biologicly programmed to fail with top of the lot women. (as myself) I will quote seinfeld on this: "you can't have sex with someone you admire''

      your best bet to get the woman of your dreams is not in dates, you will have to find ways to approach her socially without it counting as a 'date' then pressure will be off a bit.

      i wish you the best, I really do.

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