Someone with experience dating a person with bipolar disease?

Met a guy about 2 months ago, sweet, caring, smart and who treats me very well. After about a week of serious dating and deciding that we were only gonna see each other he tells me he is bipolar. I did some research, he told me about it, app he was diagnosed early but is off meds Because of their side effect. In general he seems pretty good at managing his disease - he can sense the diff phases before they appear and normally lets me know what's up.

Saturday he called and we decided to meet during Sunday as we hadn't been able to hang out for a few days (both had been busy). We kept texting during the evening and both were excited about meeting on Sunday. Sunday comes and goes, and I hear nothing. I called during the evening, no answer. Monday lunch I still haven't heard from him, so I send an email and a text (in case his phone got stolen) just to ask if he is OK. No answer. I tried calling one last time, no answer.

Obviously, I am wondering what happened. Is this the depression stage? (I have heard sometimes people with this disorder isolate themselves during depression) but more importantly, how should I react to this?

Should I go to his house to see if he is OK? (he has had suicidal thoughts before but seems reasonably stable nowadays) or is it better of I leave him alone until he feels better? Also, should I be understanding of this, if it is depression and bipolar causing this, or should I set limits. Having someone going AWOL on a relationship without any contact is ofc quite disruptive.

I'm going through quite a lot myself at the moment, having moved around the world and currently being in therapy, so the amount of energy that I can devote to someone else is limited. On the other hand, I do really care for him.

Any advice here?

Thanks guys, really appreciate it. I guess I will wait and see what happens if he ever gets back in touch. He will move soon, to a city 4 hours away, so if this is how things will be I guess the future looks kinda bleak. Thanks though xx :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tbh, he doesn't sound like the best guy. Even if he was bipolar it doesn't seem like he expressed any remorse for blowing you off (and people who are bipolar do experience remorse). I think he is trying to blame his diagnosis for things that shouldn't take that much out of him. If he can't keep a relationship I don't see how you can be with him in the long run


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  • well I am bipolar and have dated a bipolar guy (what a disaster huh?lol).. Please please understand that that happens... random no shows... but you still must hold him accountable, don't use bipolar as an excuse(or else he will use that as an excuse for everything), just let him know he disappointed you and you're hurt, don't react too hugely though, just let him know you like him and hope you guys can work on this (if you get really upset it will make him want to go further and further away) I would do the whole disappearing act too. My boyfriend would show up at my house and at the time I was pissed and frustrated, but looking back I realized how much he cared and now and only now I really appreciate him trying and not just giving up on me. Maybe that's why I did it in the first place? To test if he cared? It is a complicated disease, lots of emotional manipulation and lots of times it can't be controlled because we lie to ourselves so much... I don't really call myself bipolar though, because I fit the mold for so many other "diseases" (add, paranoid personality.. ) I am just someone with a lot of issues. lol. probably stemmed from childhood, who knows.. let him know his behavior is upsetting you, bipolar people need to hear the TRUTH, a lot of these weird acts are because they are confused about something "does she really love me?" "Is she right for me?" and they can't properly express it due to their insecurities. Just maybe take a break...

  • I tried dating someone who is bipolar. BAD NEWS.

    Stop seeing him right now unless you're willing to put up with being ignored and treated like sh*t one week and then adored the next. You can never tell if it's YOU he's not interested in or it's just the depression and moodswings.

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