Can anyone give me tips on where/how to find my type of guy?

I generally like pretty mellow guys, who are intelligent, goal orientated, like rock/metal music, etc.

I've tried internet dating and all I've found are people who are either: IMO losers who don't want to work or try to get careers or aspire for anything, or they're emotionally unstable/unopen where they have all these mental problems or aren't really looking for a girlfriend just a f***buddy or one night stand, or I don't even meet guys because they don't meet my interests.

I think I'm a fairly honest person and I know myself and what I want. I'm not miss goodie two shoes who tries to save children in Africa. I'm not the spawn of satan either but I prefer someone with an edge, who doesn't BS about being some great humanitarian and actually does something with their life. Hard to find online.

So what should I do? I don't know very many people and mostly keep to myself and my VERY tight knit group of friends. That same group isn't into my type of music so I never go to concerts or anything either. I'm also not into the clubbing scene and wouldn't want to be with someone like that either. I like guys in their mid to late twenties who are over that.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi there. Sorry to hear you're having so much trouble meeting guys. You've set up a lot of constraints which will limit things pretty significantly unless you're willing to step outside your comfort zone. I'll assume that you're at least to some degree willing and share some ideas.

    I don't know where you live but if it's near a college or university with a men's basketball team, a quick start idea would be to get to some of the early games. Dress to show you off but not too sexy. I've seen a lot of women at games in snug jeans and heels that really got my attention. Sit in the best seat you can find and once the game is a few minutes old, move to some better seats with some targets of opportunity in the area. Don't be shy about your entrance. Strut down the stairs and sit down. Make a trip to the ladies room part way through the half, at halftime (don't be in too much of a hurry to return to your seat. Hang out a bit and sort of demurely troll for strays, as it were.) Smile and be approachable. I'm confident you'll meet some people and hopefully one of more of them will be worthwhile candidates. If you don't like basketball, buy a program, bring a pen, and ask a safe guy to show you how to keep score. I am confident that once you start getting involved in the game, you'll enjoy it.

    I think you should update your online profile. is free dating site that I've had a lot of luck with. Make sure you post some really good photos of you, maybe even one from a party where you're all cleaned up. No photos with other gals that aren't also very attractive. I would include in your profile that you're looking for someone who can make you laugh. That tends to screen out some of the ones you don't want. You posted anon so I can't make this offer offline but I'll be glad to help you with your profile. I'm married and I suspect a long way away so this offer is just that, an offer of help.

    • Nah, I'm really not into online dating anymore.

      And I really hate basketball. The only sport I watch is MMA.

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    • You asked. I tried. Godspeed! Happy Thanksgiving!

    • NP, I already figured what I should do anyway.

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What Guys Said 2

  • A lot of guys in your preferred age range are not looking for relationships, but some are. They are however going to be expecting sex VERY fast. Guys in their late 20's who are decent looking, smart, have a decent job and have some social skills can get laid instantly. Some of them may be happy to commit and want emotional closeness, but they're looking to have sex with JUST you, not 'not have sex'.

    What kind of city do you live in?

    • I'm not sure what you're talking about with this "not sex" stuff. I never said I didn't have sex. I said I'm not a f*** buddy and not a one night stand. There's a big difference. If the vast majority of normal guys want that (and I highly doubt that) then I'll just have to be alone.

      What do you mean by kind of city?

    • I hear what you're saying, what I was trying to get at is that women who loudly say they don't want sex too fast can range from women who want to date a month first to those who have serious issues and probably don't want sex at all. If you're in the first category, it helps to make sure guys understand that. You are worried about them thinking you'll be a ff-buddy, they are worried you're asexual.

      I was wondering if you were in a college town. Things are worse in them, sometimes.

    • No, I'm not in a college town. And I don't really make any statements about sex upfront.

  • I meet all of that criteria but you should message me or friend me :-) plus I'm a deep/ passionate type of guy lol

    • But you're too you, lol.

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    • no worries, but how am I too young if I have the maturity of a 28 year old(at least that's what my doctor said). plus you gotta give people a chance otherwise you won't ever find that guy your looking for :-P

    • Well there's giving a chance and then not being a creeper. I'm going to be 25 next year...I have no business with a 19 year old.

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