Am I doing anything wrong?

My boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago. From a 4 or 5 year relationship. Which if you know us the way we were felt like almost 10 years because of how long we knew each other. Because he wanted his space and wasn't happy. As well as he wanted to go out and be him. I mostly feel it was because of stressing out because of bills. So we remain friends, and now the tables of turned. Now I just want to have fun and relax and chill with different people. So I hang out with him and other people. But there is this one guy I am interested in and he likes me too. Is it bad that I'm trying to go out and have fun with both guys and not be in a relationship. I just don't want to be owned. Or deal with the stress of dating. And that's with mostly my ex did was stress me out so much. So much lies and hind stuff from me. And if I were to give him another chance I don't want to deal with the same stuff. I would like him to change a bit. And he's working on that, to better himself. Which is great. By the way he hasn't cheat on me. So is it bad to fool around with him and this other guy? Until I figure out what I want?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I kind of agree with the other user, but I don't. If you're not in an exclusive relationship with either guy then there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. But you should tell them just so they know. You don't want to lead either guy on while you try and figure out what your looking for. Do you still love your ex? Sounds like he has come to senses about what he wants, and is fighting to get you back. Is that something that you want? 10 years is a long time, and guys have a tendancy of making some lousy choices. Maybe before you get your knee deep fooling around this the other guy, maybe you need to figure out if you would be willing to get your ex that chance to redeem himself. If he loves you, he will treat you like a queen.

    I think that its a bad idea to be doing this and I would just be worried about breaking 1 of these guys hearts, and that a whole other issue to deal with. and your worried about the stress of dating. Your leading these guys on by fooling around with them, and 1 of them is going to come out really hurt. If you didn't have the ex, and you were just having fun and fooling around with a couple of random guys, I think it would be a much different situation.

    To me, you sound confused, but it sounds like you still love your ex and your not over him. Maybe focus on that and see where it goes. The fact that he is trying says a lot. You 2 have a lot of history that would be a shame to lose.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If you're not in an exclusive relationship with either guy then there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. You *may* want to let both guys know that they aren't the only one you're seeing right now. You don't need to give any more details than that, it's just a courtesy so they aren't blindsided later if you end up with one or the other.


What Girls Said 1

  • All I can say is fooling around with the other guy is a bad idea! I went through a similair situation with my ex a couple of years ago. And all it did was create more stress on myself.

    My boyfriend told me that we needed a break because he wasn't happy and we started to fight a lot and he started lying about what he was doing and people that he was seeing. He started questioning if he was ready to commit to me for the rest of our lives. So he broke up with me and we remained to stay close during this. I just kept hoping that 1 day would come back and that he would want me back and finally he did after about 9 or 10 months. But when it came to that point I realized that I wasn't. I wanted to go out and have fun just like he did. I Then found myself attracted to another man. So I put my ex on the back burner and started spending more time with the "new" guy. The only problem was that I couldn't get my ex out of my head whenever I was with the other guy. I actually started feeling bad for what I was putting my ex through. I then figured out that the happieness that I had been searching for was in front of me the whole time. I told the "guy" that I couldn't see him anymore and I went straight back to my ex. I have never been happier now. Best decision I ever made. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He himself shows me daily just how much I mean to him. Treats me like gold. Sure we fight from time to time about silly things, but what couple doesn't? He doesn't lie about where he is going or who he is seeing. For the both of us, the break up showed us just how much we mean to each other. We are ment to be with each other, we both believe it. You always need to have that time and get out and do your own thing especally in a close relationship. All you will do is drive yourselves crazy if you don't give each other some space. but if you love each other you have to do what it takes. We have been together for 8 years,and known each other for 12, and now we are engaged and planning our first baby in the near future. What you have to understand is that there will always be stress in relationships. You just have to find the right way to deal with it.

    If this guy is working at bettering himself and showing you that he can change, he really loves you and misses you. I would bet money that you really mean the world to him and feels terrible about all the lying and hiding, that he wishes that he never broke up with you. You should try giving him another chance because I can bet that he won't do those things again and will appreciate you everyday, just like my wonderful fiance treats me.You can have him wrapped around your little finger ;). 10 years is a very long time and there is a lot of dedication that has gone into that. If you still love your ex, this guy that your interested in isn't worth wasting all those years. Sorry for such a long response. This one just hits close to home.

    Trust me, you won't regret your decision :)

    Best of luck!