Should I go for the long distance relationship with an older man or should I stay with the inexperienced guy?

I started talking to this 23 year old guy from a certain western European country in July. We literally hit off and talked for 12-17 hours a day by instant messaging of course, because I was on summer break. We totally have everything in common and even our family situation is virtually the same. We were just friends until three months later when he "jokingly" proposed to me and asked if I liked him. I said, "yes" and that was that. So now we talk very flirtatiously and he even got me to go on Skype to strip for him just last week. He said he loves my body and likes me. Okay, that's fine, but no matter how I lead on to the question of what I am to him he says more than a friend and that he would love to actually spend time with me. Sitting that relationship aside; there is this boy that is almost 2 years younger than me (I'll turn 17 right after he turns 16). I have known him for going on three years I have felt attracted to him since the first time we met. I just recently found out that he also liked me since our first year of knowing each other. He has also said that we are about three years over due for dating. I'm not sure if he honestly likes me or is just finally coming out because said a few select words. I face the issue of choosing to date an older more educated man from Europe who connects with me on a whole different level and is a thousands of miles away, or a youngster that lacks maturity, but is here for me physically to (like hugging, nothing dirty) Guys and Girls please help. Your impute is always helpful. :) - Female 16 years of age

I chose to stay friends with the older guy =) and to date the younger guy... It will be a little work to be with him, but it's well worth it XD Our first date is on 22 November 2011. Wish me luck =D
quick up date lol total mistake going with the younger guy :P total ass that only thinks with his d***... which wouldn't be such a bad thing if he could at least hide it decently. Oh well, lesson learned.

the older guy and I am still really good friends :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • i'm sorry but your first situation sounds skeeetchy. I know, girls at this age usually prefer an older if not the same age guy. I know. but the thing is, this guy is in Europe, ok? you two are at completely different stages of life even though you connect on some sort of level. it doesn't seem right at all, even more so when you mention the fact that he got you to strip for him and you only met in July? tbh it sounds more like you're in lust or the IDEA of being in a relationship with an older man. it's a fantasy. did you at least see him on skype too?

    For him, he's probably thinking that it's great that he has your attention and now that you've stripped for him, he can keep sweet talking you in order for you to do more. he says more than friends because he is sexually attracted to you, it doesn't mean that he wants a long distance relationship with you. also, girl, you're underage. doesn't that seem awkward to you at all? 16 and 23...stop denying it! at least if you were of age, the age gap would still be there but it wouldn't be as sketchy cause legally you'd be an adult.

    the other guy, well, do you actually think that he is immature? is there something he does that just screams immature? is it too much immaturity for you? then don't date him. simple as that. if you say he is immature, primarily because of his age, I'd say just go for it.

    so in conclusion: quit bringing your hopes up with this 23 year old in Europe and date the other guy if he's not too immature for your taste. it is the smartest thing to do.

    • I think I'll take your advice and date the younger guy. I really do like the older guy, but I'm lacking experience with guys as it is, so being friends will be just fine and he will understand =) I'm not really sure what you mean by lusting though and I've been in relation ships with much older guys in my own town sadly -_- plus it's legal in his country... Well all that doesn't matter now. Besides I have a date with the younger boy tomorrow XD... Thank you again for your imput =)

    • sorry I meant in lust (not in love) or loving the idea of being in a relationship with an older man lol.

      anyway I'm glad you took my advice, thank you for best answer and good luck with the other boy :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Stick with what you know and what you can relate to. You don't really have anything in common with a 23 year old guy living in another country--that's just delusional. Maybe this boy is too young but you'll both learn a lot from dating a little without either of you getting hurt or feeling used.

    • Ouch, haha... Delusional is a bit harsh XD I also think your right about us both learning from dating each other. We did have a lot in common and I even started finishing his sentences on the phone XD - anyway, thank you foe your imput =)

  • Sounds like you're looking to promote someone without giving them the responsibilities and benifits of actually being a boyfriend. In this case I wouldn't consider the long distance relationship or the local relationship as anything that needs to be exclusive. Date them both.

    • Hmm, I don't know if I could convince myself that is honestly okay... It infringes upon cheating :O regardless I know you mean well, so thank you for your imput =)

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