Confused between two guys, what should I do?

OK. So I broke up with my boyfriend almost a month ago. Met this guy who really likes me. He is deep and emotional. Has all the qualities a girl wants in a guy, genuinely good heart and, he's almost perfect character-wise, like I said almost perfect, and because iv been treated badly by guys before, this is what really attracted me to him. Anyways, he wants me to date him, and is really into me because he's at a point in life where he's just ready to commit to a relationship and he feels like he's found the right girl in me. I told him its too soon. At first because I wasn't over my ex, but now that my ex has come running back to me and I genuinely can say I do not want to get back with him I know that is not an issue anymore. I also told him because usually after a break up a person is vulnerable and their mind is clouded, even though I like him I would need to make sure about the decision I'm making, which at the moment I'm not. That's also probably because of our chemistry issue which I haven't told him about. He's says he'll wait but seems quite impatient and is pushy. The chemistry is there for him but not for me. I feel so fickle. He's a good looking guy but I just don't feel a chemistry with him, but my problem is as a person he's everything I want, everything, and that's what's keeping me there. Anyways, two days ago I got introduced to a guy through a friend. There was absolutely no thought in my head of looking for another guy because I was willing to let chemistry grow between me and the first guy. But then this new guy I met blew me away. Chemistry and character wise. He blew me away enough to put the first guy on hold. I know I don't know this new guy well enough but he's so intriguing physically and mentally, and such a good heart to. I'm 23 the first guy is 26 and the new guy is 21. I feel I need to mention this because I NEVER go for guys younger than me, no matter what. Its so hard to be attracted to them and I feel they aren't mature enough then this 21yr old comes along and changes everything. So my question is. Am I a bad person for feeling this way? Should I just get my head together and go for the first guy? Or should I take a risk and see where my friendship goes with the new guy? Is chemistry not that important? Should I do nothing and see who is more patient with me and judge from their revealed characters. Who knows maybe I'll choose neither. I'm just so confused!


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What Guys Said 2

  • First of all there is no reason for feeling bad about this, it's human instinct to be hesitant about new opportunities. I recommend you don't make any spur of the moment decisions, you have to have perspective and know that your actions could have consequences because peoples feelings are involved here, as it sounds you are already taking into account. With that being said at the end of the day you still have to look at what's going to work out/ and who is going to be the better partner. Given that chemistry is failing with the first guy would be a little red flag for me but hey I guess it really depends on how much you view chemistry in a relationship. So in conclusion, take your time in making your decision, evaluate the consequences of your final decision and finally go with the guy who makes you the happiest and is the most compatible with your personality.


  • Has all the qualities a girl wants in a guy, -> don't girls tend to say that when they meet someone new, and they have common out of a bad relationship? ...

    I wouldn't rush into anything and I wouldn't let one of them play with your mind or heart neither. Don't forget that maybe your ex wants to plant on some moves to in the future, knowing you are seeing these other men? ... hmmm I guess I would just take the time for y yourself at this point and with meeting new people is nothing wrong but don't give your heart away to quickly. Just take your time to work things out for yourself and you'll see who will stick around at the end. I guess that the feelings might grow for the first guy, or he might just quit on you after a long waiting trial or the second guy might just sweep you of your feet and for you know it you are sleeping together? Who can tell for sure? ...

    "just take time, time to take care of you before you go into something new"


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