Ladies what are some good topics to talk about with women?

Am very shy 34 year old guy I am trying to brake my shell its has not been going to well. I try to talk to women but I can't keep them interested.

the only remotely girlie thing I am in to is cooking. I have NO interests in art, music, fashion, actors, singers,sports, and books.

My interests are my kids,cooking,cars,beekeeping,making moonshine,camping,fishing,hunting and a big US. History buff I need to be working with my hands on kind of guy I love to build things like my still,hot rods, and so on. I also love to go for drives.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I think you might be thinking about this in the wrong way. You're thinking about yourself---the things you're interested in and the things you're not interested in.

    I used to be quite shy and I had difficulty maintaining conversations with people (men and women). The best advice that I was ever given was: When you're talking to someone, ask them a lot of questions about themselves. People like to talk about themselves.

    And it's true. People like to talk about themselves; or, maybe it isn't necessary that people like to talk about themselves all the time (in the sense that they only care about themselves and their own interests), but it's a lot easier to talk about yourself---since 'yourself' is a topic that you know a lot about.

    It might be easier to talk about your own life and interests, but when someone leads a conversation by just telling you about themselves and their own interests, it makes you feel like they aren't interested in getting to know you---like they're just interested in themselves.

    When someone asks you questions about yourself, it makes you feel like they want to get to know you.

    So, when you're talking to a woman, ask her about herself. Ask her about her hobbies, her interests, her job, her children (if she has any), her experiences, her opinions, etc. You may end up on some topics that aren't particularly interesting to you---that's okay. You're not likely to meet a person who has all the same interests as you do. There will be some things that you're interested in that she's not, and some things that she's interested in that you're not. But the point is to get to know each other (which may include topics that you don't share a mutual interest in)---and to also find out what things you do have in common.

    Now, if she's a decent conversationalist, she's not going to only want to talk about herself, so she's also going to be asking you questions about yourself---because she wants to get to know you as well (however, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that if she doesn't do this, it means that she's not interested in getting to know you---it could be that she's shy and not the best at conversation either).

    If you notice that the conversation has been focused on you and your interests for awhile, turn the focus of the conversation back toward her by asking her some more questions about her. A good conversation is a two-way street---sometimes the focus will be in her direction, sometimes it will be in your direction. Ultimately, however, your hope will be to find topics that you share a mutual interest in---because those are going to be the most interesting and enjoyable topics for both of you---and the conversation will flow more naturally.

    So, for example (and I realize that this is a bit idealistic, sometimes it takes longer to find a shared interest);

    You: So, what do you like to do for fun?

    Her: Well, I like watching movies, spending time with my friends and family, curling up with a good book...

    • You: Nice. Have you seen any good movies lately? (Note: You don't have to be particularly interested in something to ask her about it---you might not have a genuine interest in the topic, but take a genuine interest in HER).

      Her: Oh yeah, I went to see (movie name) with my sister last week and it was really good.

      You: Oh? Are you close with your sister?

      Her: Yeah, we hang out quite a bit. We fought a lot when we were younger, you know, typical sibling rivalry stuff, but now that we're older

    • Show All
    • Of course, every time the other person mentions something, there's the potential to steer the conversation in a different direction. (i.e. in my example, when she listed her interests, you could have asked her about any one of those things. Or when she said she saw a movie with her sister, you could ask her about her sister, or you could ask her, say, "What was the movie about?").

      In the end, you might find out that the two of you have a lot in common (despite not having everything in common);

    • or you might find that you don't have much in common (so maybe she isn't a very good match for you).

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • It depends on the girl and where you meet her. If you're at school, talk about school. If you're at a game, talk about sports, etc.

  • Well then you start with the things you know about, don't just tell them you go fishing tell them where you've been or what you've caught...the time you fell out of the boat you know mix it up a little, lol. Don't pressure yourself to say the "right thing" that'll make you nervous and it'll be obvious you're struggling. she'll be telling you the same stuff about herself and asking you questions too.

    Personally cooking and cars would be on my list and if you think you could benefit from widening your interests browse a couple of those awful women's rags online (Cosmo, Company, Marie Claire, puuuke etc, imo) if you feel a need to know about celebrities in order to aid a conversation, down load some new movies - ask your kids to help you choose which ones but I'd be happy with a meal and a nice drive somewhere pretty and interesting..

  • first mistake... assuming all women are into the same things. there are lots of women that like the same things that you are into! you can find women with similar interests. if that's not important to you, ask lots of questions and don't make them all about her appearance lol!

    if you've got her on a date, you're already ahead of the game. just keep the conversation lighthearted, throw in a few jokes. you'll be good to go!

    • i know women are not going to the same liks as me I just want to know how to find a commen ground

      as for asking qustions I do that but I make it sound like a job intervew

  • SHOES!

  • There are lots of women who aren't into "bubbly" stuff ... but things like making moonshine and beekeeping are pretty niche topics. That is, there aren't really that many men into them either. Not listening to music or watching movies is also a bit unusual.

    I know a lot of women who do hunt and fish, though not as many who are as obsessed with it as many guys are. Look for outdoorsy types, or the women who travel from place to place doing historical renactments? There are usually as many women at those as men. There are lots of books and movies about historical topics, so I'm curious why something that popular doesn't catch your fancy in any way.

    Also, knowing how to make a conversation is good. Tell personal stories, don't just drone on and on about the specs on the last rifle you looked at. Talk about a time you did something with your kids, for instance.

    • i am a grate story teller aspeshley about cars and my moonshing I have a lot about my kids but I am a full time single dad I get the impression that scares women off

  • cooking! I love when men love to cook too, you could plan to cook soemthing together.

    most women like kids, so I'm sure theyd enjoy talking about that

    heres some other things to talk about: movies, music, hobbies, interests they might have. Women love to be asked questions.

    • i will ask about hobbies and they don't say that much if any thing I have songs I like and movies I could not tell how sings them or acts in them what ealse can I talk to keep them on me I will ask them about but I sound like a job intervewer

    • ask them about shoes and shopping if all else fails :P

What Guys Said 4

  • I recommend meeting women who have those exact same hobbies and interests! Or, if you do any online dating make sure you make your profile very clear about the type of woman you're looking for (perhaps a hunter, farmer, mechanic, etc.)

    Trying to keep a girl interested in a conversation is NOT how you attract a woman... mostly because you'll come across as fake. Instead talk about something you ARE interested in... HER.

    Ask her about herself... where she got her cute shoes... why she likes heels when so many girls hate being too tall. Ask her why she has such a big purse. Ask her what she does for a living. Ask her if she knows how many bees it takes to make a full jar of honey. Ask her what she get's excited about on the weekends.

    But don't pretend to like things you don't like... which I think you already get.

    It's more attractive to women when a guy is sincere and honest and himself... even when he's nervous BUT real.

    And trust me, there are plenty of women into cars!

    To be attractive when talking to a girl it's important to be excited about what ever you're talking about.. even if you're just talking about her. Being excited is infectious and will go a long way in improving your conversations with her.

    One last thing... being GOOD at conversations comes from practice. I learned how like everyone else... I talked to many many many people. And not just my family or my best friends.

    I learned how fun it is to talk to people I don't know when simply shopping for food or clothes. I like asking strangers for their opinions on types of potatoes and how tight my new jeans fit.

    Force yourself out into public and start making small talk with everyone you meet... and within no time you'll learn that talking to people can be fun... especially if you make the conversation about them, and not you. (People love talking about themselves!)

    Don't get too frustrated yet... have patience and give yourself some time... because meeting the right girl is WORTH the wait and worth trial and errors.

    Keep at it!

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

  • You can induldge em with some pretty interesting facts from one of your areas of interests. You could be like "so did you know Bees did... yada-yada?" I think you definitely have the knowledge to talk about...just might need some charm if you say "it ends up like a job interview". Other than tha tv, music, movies can be some casaul topics but not neccesarily...I think you justh ave to be yourself and like other said ...look into the environment to look for topics to talk about.

    And if none of that works...just get a wallet full of cash flowing out (majority of the bills can be fake) and a fake rolex and you are set ;). (lol jk...but it will work to some extent on some women lol.)

  • You have to learn what they like and read about what they like. For example, read about todays pop culture and stuff like that. I find that when I talk to women about fishing or about my research in AAH, they seem clueless and those conversations are domed to failure. All I can say it's work on learning about what women like and conversations will be a breeze.

  • Whatd you make your still out of?