First date protocol?

I have no idea where we're going, and so I don't really know what to wear! I don't want to be underdressed, but I definitely don't want to be overdressed, because that seems presumptuous and would probably make me seem high maintenance. I'm considering just shooting him a quick message on Facebook that reads,

"Hi, I'm just wondering what we're wearing for tonight? Looking forward to it!"

Is that okay?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Dressy casual.

    Ladies usually look pretty fine even dressed casual, but if you feel uncomfortable going casual, dress it up with a nice top and shoe combo.

    My partner blew my mind when I saw how good she turned out in a casual outfit, on one of our early dates.

    • So would a fitted turtleneck, dark wash jeans, and a pair of heels be okay? The belt and jacket are Burberry, so do you think that compensates for the fact that I wouldn't be wearing a dress? I'm just concerned that he'll be taking me somewhere with a dress code, in which case I'll feel like an idiot, haha.

    • Yup that sounds fine, and dress codes are usually only enforced to keep young guys out of places, So I wouldn't be worried on that front.

      Main factor is feeling comfy ;) as you have other things to worry about on a first date.

      Best wishes.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • LOL...wear something sexy yet comfortable...

    dont go so GA..GA...over your dress..

    a man will appreciate it if you look good in it...

    Most men don't really bother about the minute details about whether you ear-rings match you shoes or dress or stuff like that..

    As long as your look can turn him know you have dressed rght

  • I don't see why it wouldn't be ok... It wouldn't bother me. I'd just wear something nice/casual tho, if I were you. Can't really go wrong with that!

  • This reminds me of saying that before the first date men are worrying about what they gonna say but women are worrying what they gonna wear!

    If by any chance(though I doubt it) you go for... opera, banquet, theatre, fancy restaurant or something like that then yes, dress-up like a real lady!

    But if you gonna go for the movies, cycling, cafe, pizza or just hanging around somewhere then it's just fine the way you dress when at home, unless you wear only pajamas at home!

    • I wish I knew what we were doing! I have a few outfits ready, depending on the occasion, but I have no idea which one to wear because I don't know where we're going. Is it okay if I just ask him the question in my initial post? "Hi, I'm just wondering what we're wearing for tonight? Looking forward to it!" Is that too weird?

    • I think it's too off-beat to ask what should you wear, ask only where you're going and that's enough, you should know what to wear after you know the plan!

    • If he's trying to make it a surprise, then it makes sense to ask for generally how dressy.

  • Nothing wrong with asking -- want to be able to enjoy the date and not be overly concerned about what you're wearing -- know what I mean? :)

    • Imagine a girl suddenly asks you what should she wear for the date, what would you answer?

      2 options: You stammer, you have no idea what to say, you burp out something stupid like "anything should do" OR...

      You say that bikini should be good as you're going to... the beach now, yes!... what restaurant? Of course it was the beach!

  • Either that or send it in a text


What Girls Said 1

  • Dont' get in touch with him before the date. As a rule of thumb, its better to be overdressed than understressed. Wear a pretty dress; something that accentuates your curves but isn't too revealing. Dress like a girl with bright solid colors preferably.

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