Guy led me on...Can I tell him how I feel?

Hey everybody. Okay so to make a long story short...I met this guy Jake about 2 years ago through a mutual friend. At the time he had a g/f, so we were just acquaintances who would see each other when our friends got together.

Fast forward two years to October of this year... Ran into him again, told me he had broken up with his g/f, and was interested in pursuing something with me. I had recently just broken up with my boyfriend but I liked him so I went with it. Okay, so we dated for about a month...he would text everyday all day, tell me how much he liked me, how he wanted to meet my family, go on trips, invited me to outing with his parents about 3 times (but I never actually met them)...etc.

So one day I bring up the relationship topic as a joke (after getting physical, no sex)... then I think about it again I ask him if he wants a relationship with me...he says yes, so I say "okay you can be my bf..." He freaks...says he wants to take things slow. I am confused, but I say okay. Finally, after him bringing up that he is just "not ready for a serious relationship" wants things to progress but is uncomfortable with the "pace' and is just "enjoying the ride", I tell him that I would rather spare my feelings and be friends. He agrees.

So, we don't talk for a week, and then he suddenly comes back and says that he misses me and wishes that we were still hanging out. He says he's bummed that I just want to be friends, because he feels like he would "want more." So I said...what do you want? He hang out with you again.

So I went out of town for about a week, he invites me to his house to hang out...I go over, we make out heavily and get really physical (no sex, clothes on). He invites me to dinner the next day and I tell him, I need to check my schedule. The next day I tell him I'm free...he then says he is about an hr out of town for work and will let me know. Around dinner time, he says he can't make it and I tell him okay...that's fine. Have a good night.

I haven't heard from him in a week. Called him the day after just to chat, and nothing. No response or call back.

I feel really hurt and confused about this whole situation. If he wasn't interested, why would he come back and tell me he wanted to be more than friends. Then disappear AGAIN a day after hanging out? It just seems cruel to me.

I want to message him and see what he's up to...maybe tell him how I feel, and let him know that what he did really hurt me. But I don't know if I should.

To make matters even worse, I have an inkling he is back to dating this girl he had been dating before I came along. He told me he told her "he just wanted to be friends", but flirty fb posts say otherwise.

Guys what advice can you give me? I'm just really upset about it.


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  • dont do it because if a guy leads you on then he doesn't care. telling him how you feel won't help the situation because he still won't care. all you would be doing is making the guy seem more important than he is. in the dating world, most guys you meet will try to lead you on in some way. that's just how it is. its a good thing you did not have sex with him, at least you didn't give it up but my advice to you would be is to cut his ass off. stop making him a starring role in your life when he doesn't deserve it. a lot of guys will do this so they can get laid with little commitment but luckily you were too savvy to get sucked into it. you wised up before you really got played. but never let a guy know he hurt you even if he did, just move on and act like he doesn't matter

    • you're right. Thanks for the advice! Maybe I'll write a letter and throw it away, just to get the feelings out.