Dating a guy over 45...any help out there?

Met a great guy, ten years older than me, we have awesome conversation, he was honest with me and told me he's not sure about the little kid thing (I have a 6 yr old), I said that's fine but I really like you and am looking for friends, can we do that? Sure.

Then a few more meetings, talks, emails, and wham! we kissed (made out actually), we went out again, very good time but no mention of the kiss, and now, nothing. I sent a "pulse check" text, he wrote back and it's been a couple of days. We are both adults here, right? I am very new back into the dating scene and thought we were friends and if the kiss was a mistake, it's cool but, I'd like to talk about what's going on.

My girlfriends are telling me NO CONTACT, my guy friends are telling me, Yeah, just put it out there for him, my gut is telling me that I'd like closure (if that's where we are) and at the same time to just leave it alone...maybe he'll come around. I've already made it known that I'm still there but, don't want to be desperate b/c quite frankly, I'm not but, I wonder do "rules" still apply when you're both over 35?

When you've both been married, kids, divorced, mortgages, moving, taxes, you know, LIFE. Any input for me would be great! thanks for your time.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys are uncomfortable about Talking!
    Kisses/other just happen, driven by a fleeting feeling, as these become more common then you can bet the feeling is more persistent.
    There's no thinking here - it kills the spirit of it, this is feeling and feeling in action.

    What to do?
    Get more common time. Everyone knows you don't fall in real love with someone distant, it's the gal next door or coworker or regular buddy that one day appears transformed and knocks you for a loop and feeling much different about them.
    You need a date/buddy/companion for upcoming events he won't hate.
    You know he loves some things, so peel an eye and presents these things/events with you in tow.
    He may say no - so what? A bit of time wasted, better than time spent at a bar fishing for a sex shark. Try, try again.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like he may be a little scared of commitment or getting serious. I don't know the details of his background, but he may have had a very bad time of it with his ex(s)? Give him a little more time to think about things, then try talking to him after a week or two. If he is still acting this way, write him off.

    Incidentally, it isn't just his age. I'm older than 45, and I can't get enough of my girl! I'm all over her! And, she has a 4 year old; so it isn't just your 6 yr. old either.

    Good luck!


What Girls Said 2

  • Regardless of age, you put the ball in his court and should leave it there. You guys got together, had some fun and shared a moment. While I understand your frustration there's really no sense in dwelling on it.

    Since things are amicable between you guys it might be nice if you sent him a casual email in a few months and ask how things are going. He may have just needed to step back for awhile... maybe you can pick the friendship up later, but let it go for now.

  • @islands7 - I AGREE
    @elliegant - any updates/