Dealing with fear of intimacy?

How do you deal with fear of intimacy as a guy? My fear originated when I was a kid in high school, made some female friends who love to listen to me talk and take advantage of my generosity (my mom often told me to be nice to girls). These girls I befriended took everything I told them about me and used emotional black mail and bombarded my brain with tons of BS. about girls in general and they would laugh because I was too immature and naive to fight back against them...Had a real low self-esteem back then. After I stopped seeing them and my best friend betrayed my trust, because he talked I'll of me in order to date one of the girls. I was mentally crushed. Fell into the abyss of depression and promised myself never to be a victim of MIND Fks ever again,During that time books like Men are from mars and women from venus, the power of resilience and why men don't have a clue and why women keep buying more shoes fell on my desk.

These books became my guidelines to understanding women. But when I made new friends something strange happened, when they were guys I had no problem what so ever joking around and stuff but when they were female, when I talked about the things I'm afraid of, the things that I envy from others, or any thing related to my past wounds. I would simply be electrified by fear and when I got past it and told the new female friends about some stuff that happened to me. I would simply feel like I lost my balls...And that she had them in her hands and could crush them anytime. Anytime I open up to girls I don't trust too much. I feel like she could kill me simply by telling her friends the stuff I tell them (mostly the emotional stuff).

How do you deal with that kind of fear? How can I trust women with my secrets/my weaknesses? Can a man Actually trust a woman with So much of himself?


Most Helpful Girl

  • you can! you had certaintly bad experiences while growing up.. but not every one is the same and those girls who betrayed you probably did it with other girls too... not because they're women, but because they are those women... it goes like this: you can't never trust anyone 100% .. but some people deserve some credit... you just need to be careful who you trust... don't rush into telling anyone your deepest feelings if you don't feel comfortable, once you get to know them you will realized who you can trust and feel more confortable however there are people and there are people, and you'll need to open up to know who is worth to keep and trust...


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What Girls Said 2

  • :'( I'm so sorry they did that to you *hugs*

  • This is something to talk to a therapist about.

    • hahaha - comes cheaper to ask here. I'm not depressed don't worry just wanting to know if their isn't a quick fix about that issue

    • hahaha - don't worry I'm not depressed about the issue, I'd only like to know if theirs like a quick fix solution for that kind of issue...+posting here comes cheaper.

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