When I date a guy, I feel like I'm under water?

and, when I tell him I don't want to date anymore, I feel like I finally get to breathe. with any guy, no matter how much I like him. when its only about casual flirting I like it, but when it comes to dating I feel awful. am I going to change? its been like this since forever. I only fall in love with those who I can't get.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I like being blunt, personally, so here goes nothin'.

    I'd like to pose a question to you: What are you so scared of? For me--I had the same problem--it was the fear of not being truly accepted and abandoned on top of some trust issues. I felt suffocated. Are these guys you "can't get" really worth your time? Do they have insecurites or do you feel like you must fix them or are they taken? Or are you sabotaging any chance you could have for a real relationship with someone who wants you (because you "feel like you're underwater in a relationship") by going after guys you know you can't have? This way you wouldn't have to worry about feeling drowned by someone because a relationship with them won't happen. Trust me, you're not in love with them. You're in love with an idea, a fantasy, that you have created of them.

    Ultimately, this is all you. It will change, but only if you want it to change. Figure out why you are acting this way/what is the root cause of this behavior. Keep in mind that all relationships are hard and that there will be times you feel a little "underwater." If none of this sounds like you, disregard this answer. :)

    • Maybe its because I'm afraid that I will hurt them because I don't know how to connect. And scared of them abandoning me

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