Why do rebounds not work?

I know that everyone says rebounds almost never workout and I am just wondering why exactly that is. I have ideas as to why, but I think people who have actually gone through a rebound might know a lot better than I do about it. Any rebounders out there that care to explain? Much appreciated.

I mentioned a personal story in one of the comments below which lead me to this question that also has to do with rebounding. What happens when 2 people rebound on each other? Like both of the people are getting out of relationships and rush into things.
I must not have hit submit on that story below in the comments, oops. Well long story short, my ex got this new boyfriend within a week of breaking up with me and she told me he just got out of a 2 year relationship, so obviously it is a double rebound.


Most Helpful Girl

  • A rebound relationship is not the same as a first relationship after a break up. In some cases, a first relationship after a break up does work out, regardless of how soon or how long it was after the break up.

    A rebound relationship is where someone goes to another person simply for the attention and for the caring. A rebound relationship usually doesn't work because the relationship is only to make one feel good. A genuine relationship is when both people care about each other, not when one person (or both people) just want to feel cared for or loved.

    Sometimes, your first relationship after a break up happens very soon, but you can distinguish it by whether you truly have feelings for this other person, or whether you just like how she or he cares for you.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I have definitely had a rebound, it was when I broke up with my first love, and everyone told me "You need to get back out there its the only way to get over them" which is soooo untrue. Anywho, I started dating this guy about a month after me and my first love broke up, well I wasn't over him in the slightest, I never gave myself that time, so while I was dating this new guy, my first love was always in the back of my mind. I compared EVERYTHING with those two, and because they were two different people, nothing the new guy did was ever good enough. Basically I dated the new guy on and off (and I really mean on and off like two weeks on two weeks off type deal lol) for nine months. And in those nine months, I realized I was only with this new guy so I wasn't so lonely, I couldn't be alone, and that is sooo not a good thing. You have to be happy with yourself again before you can be happy with anyone else, as cheesy filled as that may sound, its so true. So now years have past and I'm getting over yet ANOTHER break up, beauty, lol, but anyways, this time I'm taking that time for myself, to do the things I want to do, I've joined dance again which takes up a lot of my time, and I'm working on just being happy with being alone, its a long process, but I know I'm going to get there. Its been four months since the split and I haven't even been on a date yet! Like zero, nothing! But I'm happier in this break-up compared to the ones prior, because I'm not substituting someone for the one I lost, which is EXACTLY what a rebound is. Make sense?

    • Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for the feedback.

    • Hi liquidlithium! After reading your story I really want to hear your opinion if this is a rebound or not. My boyfriend and i were together for 3 years, he broke up with me saying he loves me, but not in love with me in the same way and that his feelings are always up and down.. Loads more to it but that's the basics. He said he couldn't see me because that would be too hard for him and he would end up not wanting to leave.. 3 months after the break we saw each other, and slept together.. One month later (4 months after the break up) he is in a relationship with a girl he JUST met, and two months in to their relationship they are posting all over social media how much they love each other, love of my life etc etc.. He also deleted me on fb, but then messages me on messenger now and then. Latest being an apology message where he says I deserved closure and when I said we could meet up and get closure he said its too late for closure and would be inappropriate as he is in a relationship...

  • I think the reason most rebounds don't work is because the person on the rebound isn't really over their former partner and therefore can't or won't give them full selves (emotionally atleast) to their new partner... sometimes theyre just using the new partner to make the old one jealous, or hope that in the mean time the old partner will change their mind etc.. its not a very fair situation to be in most times because the new partner is more into you then you are them, so naturally feelings are going to be hurt... best to get over the person first then to rebound into the arms of another...


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