Guys, when can I get upset?

I'm dating this guy for about 3 months. At the beginning for about 2 months he would contact me every day, and we'd talk. We're still not official but I thought things were going pretty well. But now the number of times he contacts me is decreasing pretty rapidly. I don't think he's losing interest, because he's still pretty affectionate when he sees me, I've hung out with his friends, and because I've grown to trust that he's not the kind of a jerk who will just drop off the face of the earth when he loses interest.

The last time we talked was Wednesday (initiated by me), then we accidentally ran into each other a couple times. Last time we hung out was on Saturday (with his friends) then nothing since then. Should I be upset? Well, I don't want to freak out at him. I want to tell him that I would appreciate it if he initiated, because I've been initiating most conversations for the last few times. When can I call him on it? Is it normal to go a few days without contact?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ever hear of puppy love? There was so much communication between you two that it made almost any lesser amount seem at times seem like desertion or a lack of interest/ caring. His thought process could likely be, "hey, I can do this relationship and do my own things as well. Also, if I don't talk to her everyday, we could actually have more interesting conversations when we do talk" Also highly possible that he at times is worried about bothering you.

    Really just talk to him about it, communication frequency isn't a big deal.

    • Thanks for the reassurance! But since he hasn't initiated anything for about a month, I'm also afraid of bothering him. I'll bring it up when the time seems right, I guess.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Getting upset never works. Sit like a grown ups and talk. Tel him what you need and what you want. Nicely. No upsetting.

    • I wasn't actually going to get upset; I was going for the catchy title. I was wondering if I was freaking out over nothing, though.

    • if it bothers you, then you are not freaking out over nothing. It's something already.

  • Well, why don't you reach out to him? You need to drown him in text messages, but come on, it's only Monday, so just 2 days since you last saw him. Text him once, see how it goes. If he answers back, there you go. If he doesn't answer till tomorrow, text him again tomorrow.

    • I have been initiating every conversation for the past month! He does reply quickly, nicely and thoughtfully, so this time I'm just waiting for him to contact me.

    • Ah, you hadn't said that before. If you're just waiting, then you're experiencing the normal anxiety expected here. Still, don't be afraid of reaching out to him if it's too long, maybe at some point you can ask him what's going on.

  • It normal to go a few days without it if you guys aren't official e could possibly be busy but if it's longer then 4-5 I would speak up.


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