Am I expecting too much from him... {PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!}

We started to date about 3 and a half years ago. We were in a LDR; we lasted a year 1/2. During our one-year 1/2 relationship, he used to be the most thoughtful boyfriend. He used to write me daily emails; he used to write me poems on special occasions and reminded me daily how beautiful he thought I was, and how he couldn't wait to spend his life with me; he went as far as proposing to me claiming there was no other woman for him. At the end, he got really impatient and broke up with me.

We didn't speak for two years. We got back in contact in October. We started talking as friends and after a few weeks and during a drunken night with my friends, I emailed him telling him I missed him and even if I dated other people, he was always the one. He felt the same way as well and apologized for treating me that way. In his words, time made him a coward and he was afraid to step up to the plate and say sorry on his own. I moved back to the same city as him and we decided to give ourselves another try because we still had feelings for one another.

Problem is the man he is now is not the man I used to know. The man I'm dating is nothing compared to the man I was dating 3 years ago and I know people change and whatnot. We rarely see each other (once a week and that is when I'm lucky.) He never initiates contact with me (I don't have cell so no calls or txts) but not on FB, Twitter, email NADA. I always contact him first. He never wants to spend time with me ( if we see each other, it's on his time and only if I propose something.) Even when we do spend time together, I feel like I'm his buddy (no display of affection UNLESS I initiate FIRST). I don't feel like I'm his girlfriend and that I'm not a priority in his life. Its his job then his gym then his family then his buddies then his projects to go back to school then his dreams of becoming an actor and I just don't know where I fit in all of that.

I tried to speak to him about it and I told him that I didn't want to be feeling like I'm carrying our relationship alone but that's how I truly feel. His answer was "if you feel like that, then allright. I don't know what to tell you. I finish work at a certain hour, I go to the gym in the morning, and that's my schedule and that's how I like my life right now. I like taking things slowly." I know he's dealing with a lot of things right now so I don't push a lot of issues we've been having; I try to be there for him. I always reassure him that I love him and that I don't want no one else but him and that I'm there for him. I recently got accepted to an amazing school five hours away to train and I told him about it and he told me to go after my dreams and that he loves me no matter what. But when I asked what will happen between us, he said, "I don't know at this point; but we'll talk you know." I'm set to be leaving the city in about a week or so and I Haven't seen him or heard from him in 5 days. I decided to pull back a little bit to see if he would notice but apparently not. HELP PLZ! :(


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What Guys Said 2

  • Unless you two have children.


    They are a waster of time and emotions.

    You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT have a relationship without physical contact.

    If the relationship is that important to your life, then you two would make it a point to be in close proximity. If that is not possible, then a relationship is not possible.

    You are wasting the best years of your life READING! Look at how much drama is caused.

    Cut your loses and MOVE ON!

  • Go do your thing, if it works out between you two, if not, move on. He's got a lot on his hands right now, responsibilities he didn't have before. Don't wait for him, do your thing.


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