What are your thoughts on being another person's first dating partner?

This question is directed towards those who have dated before and were/are with someone who never had before.

I've seen so many questions regarding dating someone who has been with several people. I'm wondering what your thoughts are about the opposite: being someone's first dating partner.

And also...

Do you anticipate certain things?

How do you handle common first-time relationship "mistakes"?

Would you ever give a sincere thought that it could become serious?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ohhh I'm excited about this question.

    All four guys I've been in a serious relationship with never had a partner before me. It wasn't a conscious decision of mine to only date inexperienced guys, it just happened that way because I tend to be into shy guys, and those two things are apparently correlated a bit.

    I've enjoyed it. I like being the first, as weird and territorial as that sounds. I swear it's not a fetish or anything, haha. It's just nice. It's not that I would mind dating someone more experienced.

    I can't think of any common first-time relationship mistakes that I've experienced. I suppose it takes a while for "first-timers" to know how to communicate well in a relationship, but that usually comes naturally after a while. Every problem I've had with a guy has been unique to that guy, and I don't think it would have been remedied by more experience.

    "Would you ever give a sincere thought that it could become serious?" Could you explain what you mean by that before I answer?

    • Haha no, it doesn't sound weird.

      What I meant was that it seems the inexperience may be seen as a negative thing concerning long-term relationships. Since most people don't stay with their very first partner. And so you may end up taking the relationship less seriously. Although all this assuming you actually knew you were their first real relationship partner.

    • I think I just tend to be way more optimistic than that. My first boyfriend went through some mid-teenage-life crisis about not wanting to only be with one girl for the rest of his life and wanting to "play the field," but I always knew that that was just his character and that it couldn't possibly be something ALL guys feel during their first relationship. So I continued to be fully invested in my relationships, and none of the others seemed to feel the way my ex did about it.

    • That's great then about being optimistic. Thanks for your answer.

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What Girls Said 2

  • My current boyfriend is my first dating partner. and we started dating when I was 20 years old, so he was shocked that I hadn't been in a relationship before. It wasn't that nobody ever liked me, I was just picky or always liking people who were in different states/cities/phases of life/ etc. At first he wanted to show my how great having a boyfriend was and dote on me be super sweet, but that wore off after a few months. My boyfriend had had a few relationship before (several being totally not serious high school relationships) and the main one lasting 5ish months with a girl who he didn't love and never told her that he did...so this was his first time being in love. A lot of the emotions were new to both of us so it was scary but exciting exploring that together. However, he had a lot of experience learning about communication, boundaries, and more logical aspects of a relationship. My first mistake was going to hang-out with a guy friend that my boyfriend didn't know at the friends apartment without really letting my boyfriend know (it was completely innocent I was just so used to being single!). My boyfriend was really patient and after that incident we calmly discussed boundaries for hanging out with the opposite gender. Another mistake I frequently made was centering my whole world around the relationship, which he had pointed out was going to make me unhappy, but eventually I just had to learn on my own that the only way I could stay happy was if I balanced friends, family, and him instead of just focusing on him.

    As far as the last question goes, we wouldn't still be together after almost 2 years if we weren't serious so that means at least one person out there is willing to consider a relationship virgin spouse material.

    My biggest issue with the relationship is not knowing what I would be like in a relationship with someone else. I can only speculate about how I'm better with my guy than with guys I've only short term dated in the past.

    • Wow, thanks for this answer, appreciate it for sharing this. Shocked with no relationship at 20? I was 20 when I went on my first date... which honestly led to more of dating rather than relationship side to this question. But it's still good to hear. That he understood and explained to you those certain things was interesting, he must really care about you.

  • at my age, I would think every guy has dated before...


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