I liked guy - would have taken friendship or more.

I liked guy – would have taken friendship or more. Guy (I think) liked me – only really wanted more.

We went out – twice. I was uncertain of our relationship and without talking directly, more by actions and comments made during the nights we went out, he took to be lack of interest in moving further in the relationship. I felt a hesitancy, and misunderstood some of the other things he was asking about at the time.

I tried to remain friendly with him, and he distanced himself from me (and began dating someone else, unknown to me). I did ask him, somewhat sarcastically, and he denied “dating” anyone. I understand why, if I didn't want to date him - why should I care if he was dating someone else?

I finally managed to get my insecurities out of my head, got him to speak to me again, and we went out again. Had a nice dinner, some encouragement from him (but no follow-through) to do it again. I mistook as disinterest in dating, but okay with friendship. I asked him to have dinner again, I cancelled plans, and he stopped speaking to me and celebrated his one-year anniversary with his girlfriend (I still didn’t know).

He became busy for the next few months whenever I asked him to do things. As I was getting the sense he was losing interest, I tried to show him I cared and was interested – telling him I was concerned about him always being “busy” and “stressed” and wondered if he wanted to go out to relax. He rarely replied, so I assumed he was too busy to go out – not that we weren’t at least “friendly”.

He told me very little about his life and kept some things vague, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion – not that he had a girlfriend. He finally asked for space, but never told me he had a girlfriend or they were serious.


Why no mention of girlfriend? I initiated almost all contact after our initial dates, so he could have told me at any time he was no longer interested in friendship (or more) because he was taken. I had been told he wasn’t dating, and I believed him.

When he asked for space, without mention of girlfriend, could that mean he is still unsure of his feelings for me? I know that he was interested in something beyond friendship at one time, that I was sending out signals I was interested in something beyond friendship, so that he didn’t put that to bed puzzles me. I may not be the best judge, but I know a spark was still there between us. I know he wanted a relationship, and after I cancelled plans he made a commitment to his girlfriend. I think he was feeling the need to be in a relationship and went out and found someone ready to be in one with him but I felt he would have given me another chance if he knew I wanted one. I know I don’t get one now, they are serious and have a history, but why not be clear? Is that being cowardly? Or me being dense?

When you commit to someone, don't you want everyone to know? Wouldn't you want to tell the girl who didn't want to date you you found someone new?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He sounds very confused and I agree with you he should had been more honest with you and told you the truth. I think he did wanted the girlfriend to proabaly fill the void of wnating one when you didn't want one with him. I think he should had told you about her. I also think you are more honest to him then he is to you. And their seems to be a an on and off spark between you and him. I think he was asking for space because he didn't know what to do.


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