I'm seeing this guy and he is always quiet distance..

He is very outgoing, charming and has many people who are always around him but not very many close friends. He is quiet a loner and independent. He has always had flings with girls but only one serious relationships in his life. I was on of them. We broke up 9 months ago because he was transferring universities because his mom died to be closer to his brother. My aunt died around the same time and it was very hard so we went out separate ways. We didn't communicate well and kept things inside until we just broke up.

We've recently started reconnecting and seeing each other. He said he isn't ready for a serious relationship and neither am I since I graduate and everything is so new with us. We've agreed to only see each but take things slow/not serious.

He said that he is going to start to open up slowly to me over time, my question is how do I make him feel comfortable or get him to open up more? Id like any suggestions and this is the reason we broke up (didnt communicate/held things in)


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, it sounds like he has communication issues which don't bode well for the long run. You have to make sure he's making a minimal amount of effort, such that you aren't always chasing him. Was the reason why you broke up because you didn't talk often enough, or because he didn't share what you wanted to know?

    • I had no idea what he was thinking or going through. He didn't discuss ANY of what he was going through and became distant. My aunt was dying around the same time and when I notice him getting distance I backed off myself/didnt tell him how I was being affected/dealing with. We didn't talk about our problems until we broke up than went our separate ways.

      We can talk but I find it very hard to discuss personal feelings/things and vice versa.

    • It sounds like both of you have some intimacy issues. That's not something you can't overcome, but generally speaking it works much better when at least one person is more open, which isn't your case. When you consider all he has had were flings prior to you, it just doesn't look good for the future. You're probably best off with another guy that really likes to open up and can take your communication issues in stride. Good luck!

  • There is nothing worse than Quiet Distance..



    Even Loud Nearness is Far Better


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