Being a player vs. being sincere?

So I met this guy about 6 months ago, he's a traveling worker and can be gone for 3-4 weeks at a time. He was in fact a player, proudly, and he knew it. Ya know, attractive, has had many women, obscene gestures, ect, I just shrugged it off, I donno why. We went on a few dates and enjoyed each others company, was hanging out, chillin would even make out a bit here and their. I knew what I was getting into from the start, he is a bit of a wild thing, and I kind of liked it because I was thinking in the back of my head, maybe this guys will b one that can keep up with me, because not many can to be honest, I'm not wild, don't do stupid stuff on a consistent basis, I'm just not like lots of chick, I like to get out have fun stay up all night, make dirty jokes ect. I've been told that I'm like "one of the guys" before and figured that, I like him a lot and that maybe this would b cool, possibly work, even though I had a hunch he was a player. But sure enough it didn't, it came to the point where I had to decide if I was going to put out or not. I didn't, he said it was fine and didn't care. So we still continue hangin out for 2 days, then he goes away for work for a month, and he would still call and Skype and everything, but eventually he stopped for about three weeks, not even a "hi". So I assumed he was done w me because I didn't give him what he wanted. So I started talking to someone else and got into a relationship, which was a bad idea because it ended on bad terms. but the whole time I was with someone else, he would get a hold of me asking when I was gonna end it w him and saying that I should ect ect. Now, that I'm single we started hanging out again, and he told me that he was jealous when I was with another guy, sry for acting a fool when you didn't put out, and told me that when he met me he didn't know if he wanted to try dating seriously because of his work and him being gone all the time, and because he built walls because of a girl that tore his heart out, Ya know, that story we all have. and he said that he really liked me, that he meant that, and that he wanted to see where this could go, because he could see something with me, that if we started a dating relationship that the sex thing would be my choice of if and when, but that it had to be taken slow because this wasn't something that he expected. He acknowledged that I wasn't sure if I believed him and told me that he would prove it to me. he said a lot of other things, this was like a 2 hour conversation but he seemed sincere. And in the time before all this, like when we first me and when I was dating someone else, he was a d***, ya know, rude, talked bout sex a lot, and crap like that. So I'm proceeding with caution, but am having a hard time reading him. So Guys, Help me out here, what should I expect, how should I go about it? because I do really like the guy he's got that potential, Is he a genuine d*** or does he just pretends to be?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He may be telling the truth, but he might also be just very good, and very patient, about playing the game. Being that he travels for work so much, the possiblity of him being a high-end player is much more likely than it might otherwise be, because such a guy would have far more oppertunities to practice, being in different cities all the time.

    I recommend taking it VERY slowly and seeing what kind of a commitment he is willing to make, and whether he can keep it. For example, will he keep the communication going when he's out of town (as he promised to the first time but failed to actually do)? That will give you a good indication of how serious he really is.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Hard to say. He kinda sounds like a flake and a not serious person based on him not communicating for those few weeks. If you want you can date him and just make him wait a while for sex if you think that's all he wants. If it were me I don't think I would dated him based on the weeks he took off but I hate flakes. I'd probably start a friendship for a while and see where it goes.

  • stay away frm this guy because according to my exp...if a guy is in true love with some1 he doesn't talk horny ...the relationship goes to another level yes there some physical stuffs but not that much like mad people it becomes more of spiritual

    • well he hasn't done that to me in a while. So, idk, did someting change or is he just good at this?

    • he is a player as he proudly says these type of guys never change ...sometimes our heart says no and head says yes ...its because you have feelings for him you just dnt want to believe even if you know what I sad was right ...u can follow your heart you may suffer in long term but if you follow your head pain will only be for a short while and you will not feel dumped

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