Unattractive or am I just giving off the wrong vibes?

I know this is going to be a fairly hard question to answer without seeing a picture of me, but I just have to ask everyone's opinion.

I'm a 29 year-old female who's never had a "true" boyfriend. What I mean by this is that I've never actually been asked out by anyone in person. The only dates I've ever had have been from online, and the longest time I've dated anyone was for a month or two.

Now for my question... I've never been approached or asked out by anyone in my entire life. Since this is so, is it safe to assume that I'm just not very attractive? I have had friends and relatives tell me that I'm beautiful and the guys I've dated have said I'm "cute" (never hot/beautiful though). Also, as reference I've had several different people over the years (about 5 or 6 people) tell me that I look like Charlize Theron (or that I remind them of her...not an exact look-a-like)

I am pretty tall (close to 6ft) and I'm fairly shy when it comes to showing interest in men (I have a hard time initiating conversations, but once I know someone or know that they have an interest in talking to me, I'm just fine). I do have a hard time making eye contact and smiling, so I think that hurts me a lot...I'm just really nervous around guys I don't know (if I have an interest in them)

Again, I know it's hard to give an answer to this without actually seeing me, but I have to think...even semi-ugly girls get hit on at least ONCE in their life, right? lol What do you think might be wrong with me? Does it sound like a personality issue or would you assume that since I've NEVER been hit on/asked out...I'm probably not that great looking?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Pic required.

    Height may be an issue for some guys.

    I think height + shy is a difficult combination. You need to own your height as a tall woman. You actually will draw attention, but if you look awkward, its a negative. I think as a tall woman, you need to be confident, wear heels, use your legs to your advantage. Don't try to look less tall, look as hot as possible, and some guys _will be intimidated_ but for those that aren't, you need to look as good as possible.

    I wonder (just thinking now) if guys who like 'shy' girls tend to like 'small' girls. I wonder if guys who are more likely to be attracted to a tall woman are also attracted to women who seem confident and independent? Its just a thought.

    • well...actually, the more I think about it...I bet people think I'm just a bitch : ( LIke I said, I find it hard to smile and look at people (like when walking down a hallway and you walk past someone...I try SO HARD to make eye contact and say hi to the other person, but I just immediately look away). I think I'm answering my own question here... It's probably mainly my personality! lol

      But come on! you'd think at least one dorky/nerdy person over the years would want to talk to me! lol

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  • Im gonna assume its a personality issue. If your looks was the issue, then you would be well aware of that because somewhere along the line you wudda gotten call ugly. You said people say your beautiful & compare you to chalize, who is gorgeous so yeah maybe your doing something that's making the guys not want to continue seeing you or maybe your not choosing the right guys and this can totally be a reason.

    • Well, I'm more curious why I've never been hit on before! I mean, when I go out to a bar with friends, I'm pretty much ignored. I don't get it...nobody even wants to talk to me? It's just strange.

      And don't get me wrong...I'm not an EXACT replica of Charlize...I know that by far she's more attractive than me, but I know that my overall look/face has hints of her appearance (height, light hair, light eyes and our noses/mouths are similar). I'd say I'm probaby like a plain looking sister to her