Am I looking too deep into texting?

I've been seeing this girl lately, two dates to be exact. And I've known her for about two months. However, I always worry that she's not into me because of the way she texts. It often takes her hours to respond. When she does they're always long nice texts but I just wonder why she's not eager to text me.

In the past with other girls I'm used to quick responses when they like me. But I don't see that from her. Sure she keeps the conversation going but it just takes forever. Conversations can last multiple days but only because it takes her so long to respond.

On our dates she shows all the good signs but in between dates her behavior just confuses me. It just feels like she's not eagerly looking to talk with me.

For example, she sent me a text this morning and I'm still waiting for a response 3 hours later.. I thought maybe she's busy but I went on Facebook and saw on the newsfeed that she had just been on posting and commenting on things.

I know she'll respond, because she always does, but why does it take her so long? Especially when the dates we've been on went so well? Is she just not a phone person?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't count it against her! I have just started dating again after ending a long relationship, and I take about that long to answer guys' text messages. All the dating books/friends/etc tell us not to answer to quickly, or else we'll seem desperate. The other option is that she is frequently in an area with crappy reception. a guy sent me a text one night a 7pm, and he didn't get my response until 12am because apparently the building I was in had HORRIBLE reception.

    But no, don't read into her being distant. She is probably stressed about sounding desperate, or stressed that if she gets too excited/invested she will end up getting hurt (ie. after one date you just won't call her back). If I were in this girl's position, I'd want you to call me out on it. Say "hey, we have so much fun on our dates, why so distant in between?" that way she will know you actually like her and will make a conscious effort to be less awkward in between.

    If you call her out, and guys have dated for months and she is still treating you this way...something is wrong, but for now I wouldn't read too much into it. :)

    • that makes so much sense because I was the first guy she started dating again after a hurtful breakup with someone else too! So I could definitely see that being the case.

      Are you sure it would be appropriate to call her out on it though? I feel like that might come across a little clingy

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe she doesn't bring her phone with her everywhere? Its nothing to freak about if she's good on dates its fine.


What Guys Said 1

  • dude I posted almost exactly the same post earlier! You sure we're not dating the same chick? The girl I like does the same thing, I send something only to get nothing for hours. Same thing as you, the dates were good and she was attentive and sweet towards me on them yet the messages are few and far between!

    It just seems pointless to send a reply half the time as it's going to take so long to get a reply the topic is usually irrelevant by then! Glad it's not just me!

    • yeah man I think I saw that and it made me want to post my own. I hope we're not dating the same girl... hahaha. But yeah I feel ya. Because you want to respond but it just feels so weird doing so. Does the girl your dating stop responding early in the day and then text you the response early the next morning? that's the worst.. haha

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