I like my friend's ex a lot but they just broke up....

Ive liked this girl for a while now through two of her relationships (both with friends of mine) and even one of my own. She just got out of her realtionship and so did i. I'm compleately over my ex but idt she is over hers totaly even though she's the one who broke up with him. Three of my friends joked anound asking if I liked her I said she was cute but I wouldn't want to hurt anybody buy doing anything. Last weekend a certain something made me really talkitive and I told one of her and my best friends I know they won't tell her but I almost want her to realize somehow that I like her but I don't know how. I never texted her a lot before becouse I didn't want to tempt myself and now if I just start texting her I'm afraid she will get freeked out. I really don't want to end up loseing our friendship so I want to approach this slowly but have no idea how exactly. All I really know is that I like her alot...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, she has been burned before and she is afraid to be hurt again. She seems like a girl who is still healing from a bad experience(s). She has trust issues meaning that she doubts if she will ever find a man who will treat her right. This is why she seems like she isn't looking for a relationship right now. She is pushing you away even though she might be having a crush on you. Even if she likes you, she will convince herself that you aren't good for her sanity and heart. You will be like any other guy. Yes, she is making up excuses to herself and to you. It's like a defense mechanism to protect herself. This doesn't necessarily mean that she still loves her ex. It means that she hasn't healed yet and is still hurting. It takes time, you know, especially if she is a sensitive girl with a big heart. :) The best thing to do (that I'd like to see my crush doing) is to always be there for her. Show her through actions that you care and that you are there for her. Most probably the guys she had been with were sweet-talkers but they never show any actions of love because it's more difficult. This is why show her that you do care and you do like her and that you respect that she needs time.

    If you really like her, don't give up on her. :)

    • Shes actuly the one who has broken up with both of her boyfriends becouse she realized they wernt exactly right and she's very strong and that's one of the things I really like about her she's not afraid of anything. I just want her to see me as someone she could date and not just a friend whos being nice to her after she broke up with her boyfriend. by the way they are still friends

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    • See but that's the thing her last boyfriends were nice to her but they what she needed. My ex was was mean to me and I didn't see it for a long time. Everyone told me she was mean to me even the girl I'm talking about above. I think that's why I like this girl so much becouse she is really logical but funny and exciting at the same time my ex was none of these things and this girl is one of the most selfless people I know and I am tired of dealing with someone who just takes

    • I understand how you feel. I am a selfless person and my ex was extremely selfish. I want a guy who would give as well as take. As for the girl, I think you shouldn't give up on her. She is exactly what you want in a girl. Go for it! Text her and give her subtle hints that you like her and see how she reacts. If she's getting along, then she definitely likes you. Next step will be asking her out for a date. I think you should start pursuing her right away. Remember that actions are important. :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • Personally I think that its never a good thing to date your friends ex but if you like her then you should talk to your friend first to see if its okay, so there isn't any hard feeling but if he's okay with it you should could for it but I don't recommend it. Maybe try being friends with her first and getting to know her more before jumping into things. Then when you guys know each other better then you guys can tex. Good luck.

    • Ive known her for 3 years but kinda kept my distance because we were both in relationships. She wasn't dateing a really good friend of mine but more a member of the group I hang out in

    • oh okay well then just take it slow and see what happens.

  • Personally I wouldn't but if I really liked that person, then I would give it some time out of respect for my friend and then show some interest in the girl.

  • If you want to date her, don't ask her out yet but spend time with her, comfort her when she is depressed, be there for her when she is upset, listen to her problems and invite her to hang out with you.

    Then after she is over her ex and her ex is over her, ask her out.

    • I like that idea. Any idea about how to invite her to hang out without freeking her out becouse she just got out of a relationship now I'm talking to her a lot and asking her to hang out more? That's a bit sketchy...

    • Maybe a phone conversation or a group gathering where you have her, you and a bunch of other people there as well. You could also see if there are any parties you can both go to.

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