Are guys intimidated by girls who are attractive & successful?

I met this guy on a Friday, he hung out with me all night, asked me if I wanted to go out sometime, he got my number and promised he'd text me the next day. He did, and asked me out for a drink on the following Tuesday. I said sure!

Then, I never heard from him again!

What the heck? I wasn't sure if I should text him, but I didn't know what to say so I waited for him to text first. He never did and I don't understand why he would change his mind like that!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not heartbroken over this guy, just confused because things like this happen very, very often to me! It seems like every guy I go out with (or who asks me out) ends up standing me up within 2 dates... I really don't think it's that they lose interest because they usually text me a lot and flirt with me, but then avoid the actual 'date' thing... I don't get it!

I have been told that I come off as kind of intimidating, but really I'm just very shy and actually very approachable, but I feel like many of the guys I meet are nervous around me and too timid to initiate things. Is there someway I can show them I'm interested in them, without coming off as intimidating? Are guys intimidated by a girl if she is attractive and successful?

Could I have texted this guy when I didn't hear from him? I never text guys first, so what could I have said?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would be at first.

    I would think "Why is this phenomenal girl talking to some guy like me?" lol

    I would intimidated because she's successful AND attractive. How often in life do you get to have your cake and eat it?

    I would try to remain cool, because like all people they have their flaws. And we are all humans. What I mean is: No one is better then the other. I'm sure she is successful in things I am not and vice versa.

    I honestly wouldn't worry about these guys. Most guys (In my opinion) need to think with brain and grow up. The only thing you should worry about is being yourself. Because the second you aren't yourself things go down hill. I know it can get annoying and restless going through the same thing over and over again. It's like these guys can't be consistent/persistent/have some courage.

    Growing up this has always been my goal. I am trying to become successful and independent and attractive (but beauty IS in the eye of the beholder)

    You should go out with a guy who is equally successful/attractive as you. I think then it'll even the playing field a bit.

    Good luck!

    P.S. Don't listen to that guy who said guys are intimidated by girls who make more then them. I could care less how much she made. I wouldn't even care if I had to stay home and she would work.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Attractive Nooooooooooooooooo, that's a HUGE turn on oh yee =) but success is a big word you know. If you mean success by lots of money than yes, it is a bit intimating because if you are rich you expect to go to very expensive places and normal guys who are normal can't afford that, so they cut things short, but if you mean success by achieving your dream job than it is a big turn on.

    • We are both in University but he is quite a bit older and seemed almost embarrassed that he wasn't finished yet (but I didn't care) - also I probably have a "better" job than him (in that I make more money) but I don't think it's a big deal at all - would he?

    • Ok as a normal guy, I can tell you this, for me it would a self conscious embarrassment that I cannot provide a living and everything that comes with it to a girl because she is already having everything and even more than I can ever give her. It is like a personal fail in life. Very hard to explain.

  • I think that you are probably best suited for a man who is confident in himself. that doesn't mean that he has to feel superior to you, just that he has to feel good enough about himself to not be intimidated by your self respect.

    I think that you are lucky in that respect. Sure, you are going to have a harder time finding a guy like that (there are just fewer really great people) but you won't find yourself sucked into dating guys who will ultimately reveal character flaws.

    I personally can't imagine dating, or even being really interested in any woman who was not self-confident, successful (in a way that is meaningful to her), smart, and generally motivated.

    That doesn't mean that I don't find vulnerabilities attractive, but I have no interest in dating someone who isn't self motivated and self confident.

  • Most men don't want to date a woman that makes more money than them

    • He wouldn't know for sure if I make more money than him, he would just be speculating! Would that be reason to bail on the date?

    • And really? Why? Because they want to feel more "manly" or because they're worried they won't be good enough for the girl?

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