Do I have a fatal flaw that is keeping me single?

As a high school senior, I don't mind being single at the moment, however I am concerned about staying that way in the future. Here's a bit about me, including both good and bad things. Let me know if there's a red flag in there somewhere that is affecting my love life.

- I am very focused on my education/extra-curriculars because I want to lay a good foundation for a successful future. Therefore I maintain a good average (93%).

- Because of my intense focus, I don't go out much normally. I just end up going all out and party hard on long weekends and winter/spring/summer breaks. When school is in session, I'm serious mode.

- All my teachers enjoy having me as a student, and my counselor claims that they speak very highly of me.

- I've heard from acquaintances that my peers envy my accomplishments and strive to match my lifestyle.

- I am involved in music. (I play the piano and a brass instrument in the senior school band. I am also the leader of my instrumentation family.)

- I am involved in senior theatre program at school.

- I work out (good figure) and play on a sports team in and out of school. I am basically captain of the team- with the highest scoring rate and whatnot. I also try my best to lead a healthy lifestyle.

- I am NOT the prettiest girl at school, but I do look good when I make a bit of an effort. When I put in the time to prep for formal events, I know I look very attractive.

- I'm quiet most of the time (introverted?), even when I'm around my friends. However, I am not shy; I can speak confidently when required.

- I'm too sarcastic. People have trouble knowing the difference when I am joking or seriously insulting them. (I would never want to purposely hurt someone.) I've been working to cut out my sarcastic remarks lately.

- I'm always told by adults that I am very mature in my way of thinking and handling problems.

- My parent's friends and even some of my teachers say that they would like to have a daughter like me.

- I'm NOT socially popular in school (I'm not part of the cool/party crowd), but I apparently people know me as the girl who is "perfect".

I actually recently met a guy my age, who I hit it off very nicely with- seemed inevitable that we would end up dating, but that's not how it turned out. We went out a couple of times and things were going extremely well and at a healthy pace. However, the only time he initiated contact was to set the first date, and to text me the next day saying that he had a nice time. After that, the initiation was all me- he responded well when I messaged him though. On the second outing we cuddled and talked a lot.

Unfortunately, we just lost touch after he had to cancel the 3rd date due to a family event/school work. He said he would love to reschedule, and I told him to contact me when he wanted to set an alternative date to meet... it's been a week and I haven't heard from him.

I'm not sure what it is that I'm doing that is keeping the guys away.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That guy obviously shrugged you off in a polite way - it's a classic - "I'll call you later"

    ..and if it's been a week already you can forget about it.

    But that's nothing - if someone is not very responsive to you, someone else will be better.

    There are 3 things what are keeping people single(despite their will not to be single)

    -Bad looks

    I'm sorry but let's be real.

    Also I would like to see your picture to ensure that this point is not about you.

    -Unrealistic standards

    You got a long list what do you want.. or.. "expect" or "would prefer" but still you won't give a chance to anybody who doesn't fit to the whole set.

    Also I wanna tell something about the posts below: "in high school all guys just wanna sex" etc. it's a vile generalization and sometimes people prove to be completely different than they seem first.

    -Not putting yourself out there

    If the points before were not the reason then this is what's making you stumble.

    But ti seems like you are involved in many activities so you get all the chances of meeting people.

    Except the shyness part.

    Despite that guys are expected to approach the girls, most of times actually it's the girls who initiate it first - by body language, eye-contact, smile, etc.

    Then guys will approach. But if there's "zero signal" nobody will bother.


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What Guys Said 3

  • um. yeah. I'll take a stab at this- guys in high school want a girl they can just fool around with and not be serious with... for the most part. there are exceptions. based on what you said ^ you wouldn't fit that role- you have a future and are determined to achieve it, not a clueless girl who only cares about boys, clothes, and social status. that keeps most of the guys away, in high school at least, itll be different later.

  • Nothing is wrong with you, it's all in your head. Many people remain single, even past high school for while. It's normal.

  • Nothing wrong with that. You should focus on your studies first, anyway.


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