Am I wrong for wanting my boyfriend to choose me or his ex that is also his friend?

He dated this chick two times and they are now friends. She started shit with me about something when I was 16 (I am not 25). She caused a big fuss at a party that we had and my boyfriend went after and not me. Then she found out that I had gotten in trouble with the law and she has gone around and told everyone about it even my boyfriend( which he knew about it cause he was with me). So she does not like me at all. She now does not talk to him unless she need something. The latest thing is that she wanted us to come over to watch a UFC fight. Am I wrong? What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're not wrong to say what you want, and to say what you will or will not tolerate. "I don't know if I can date you any more if you keep seeing that girl."

    However, your boyfriend has the right to see whoever he wants. You can't change him, and you don't have the right to try controlling him. He has the right to make his own decision.

    So all you can do is tell him what you want, and what you will or will not tolerate. I suggest you avoid a "her or me" ultimatum. Simply tell him what you want, very calmly, then say, "Call me when you want to talk about it."


What Girls Said 1

  • I've never known a guy to be able (even if willing) to fix problems between two girls. But it sounds like she is definitely being an absolute bitch and he should easily be able to see this too. You want him to stop hanging out with her right? I would too. If the situation was flipped and an old flame of mine was doing comparable things to my current Man, I would tell him to either cut the shit out or I wouldn't have anything else to do with him. I think your boyfriend should do the same. This girl is acting like trash and needs to grow the f**k up. If they want to be together, let them be together. Otherwise, I think it is the time to act...for both you and your boyfriend. He should support you.

    Oh and for what it's worth, I would have knocked her out waaaaay back. But I am not in any way condoning violence.

    • Just to clarify: not a "her vs. me" scenario, but more of a "tell her to check her f**kin' attitude towards me or I'm out" deal. Make sense? Their friendship is fine, as long as she starts treating you with kindness or at the very least, a simple respect.