Should I contact him? Wait for him to contact me? Or just move on?

I met this guy at one of his shows. We only met for a few minutes but he called me later that night & we talked for hours. Turns out he lived about 5 hrs away.Anyways we continued talking & talked all day, everyday either through text or on the phone. He would always tell me how great & beautiful he thought I was & would tell me he couldn't believe a girl like me would be interested in him (he seemed like he has some self esteem issues). Anyways he seemed like such a sweet & sincere guy, he was so great. So I decided after about 2 weeks of talking to take the drive to go see him. Everything was great while I was there, we had fun, we got along, it was so comfortable & easy with him. He was such a gentleman & was so sweet. He told me that he really liked me a lot & again would say he didn't understand what I saw in him. I could tell he was insecure with himself because it was like he would ask me a lot of questions for some sort of reassurance or something. Anyways I left after being there for a few days. After I got home things were still going great & we talked all the time and he would tell me how much he missed me and liked me & couldn't wait to see me again. We even had the talk about how he felt like it could go somewhere with us & how he thought it "was destiny" that we met. Another 2 weeks went by after I left & I met up with him again about halfway between our 2 cities for 2 nights while he was on tour with his band. The first night was great and we had our first kiss which was also great & he told me again how much he liked me. Everything seemed to be going fine. But the next day he seemed kinda stand-offish, and didn't try to make another move on me the rest of the time. After the 2 days were over and I went home, he was still standoff-ish and not talking to me as much. A few days after I had left he texted me & asked me what do I see in him & if I wanted to just be friends or more? I told him I wanted to be more than friends (because I thought that's where we were headed and that the feeling was mutal). He did not respond to my text. I asked him about it the next day & he told me we should talk about it soon, which we didn't. He continued to be more and more standoff-ish. Then we didn't talk for a few days and he texted me randomly & asked if I was mad at him. I told him I was just confused by his mixed signals and he told me he wasn't ready to date yet (especially long distance) and that he had a lot of personal issues going on and that his lifestyle wasn't fit for a relationship. He then said "I hope we can remain friends" but out of frusteration I told him that I don't think we ever were friends. I haven't talked to him since, and that was over a week ago. I don't know what to do now. I've never met someone like him before. I know we haven't known each other very long but I really felt a connection with him that I don't feel often. Should I contact him? Wait for him to contact me? Or just move on? Is there still any chance?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't their is a chance. He basically told you that he just wants to be friends and you said you wanted more then that and yo utold him that you didn't want to be friends. Which kind of means that you didn't want to see him anymore. That is very weird the way he was acting. I think by him being in the band he probabaly gets a lot of groupies throwing thenselves at him. And your right sometimes their can be strong connections to people that you don't feel with nobody else.I don't think you did nothing wrong he just wasn't ready to be in a long distance relationship. It still did not give him no right to distance himself like that. I think if you still want him in your life then maybe text him to see if he still wants to be friends if not then try to move on.

    • I just don't understand how he could be so aggressive and open about liking me and then a few days later completely draw back and switch gears out of nowhere... Do you think he got scared when the thought of actually being in a relationship with me crossed his mind? Fear of commitment maybe?

    • Show All
    • Do you think there's any chance he might change his mind>?

    • He might change his mind. But that is a big maybe. Only time will tell.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • not really much you can do, you can contact him tell him you were mad about how he kissed you then completely took a step back... you can wait for him to contact you which could be a while, he is probably trying to sort things out.. or you could move on, you have never meet anyone like him before, but there is always someone better out there.

    • thanks so much for the advice... I just don't understand how someone could go from one extreme to the other like that, it just makes no sense!

    • nor do I ma'am when you figure that one out please let me know

What Girls Said 3

  • That connection is so tricky. But just because you had good chemistry, doesn't mean you are a good match for a relationship.

    This guy definitely has self esteem issues. If he feels bad about himself and you're telling him that he's the greatest, he might think "What's wrong with her, how could she like someone like me?"

    It sounds like it's he's having a hard time loving himself, and he will have a hard time letting someone love him.

    He has told you he didn't want a relationship, but maybe you didn't want to hear those words. his actions will tell you how he feels. You are not in a relationship with this guy, so please keep your options open to dating other guys!

  • You could just stand up and talk about it.
    Your both grown ups, find a way to talk about your confusion
    With her..
    Its better than to end up getting paranoid and assuming the wrong things

    • Wth?!? Sorry this thing answered the wrong question..

      Well my advise for you is to move on

      This guy sounds like he got cold feet

      He thought he was into you, but turned out to be confused..

      So move on, you'll find someone else :)

  • Yes I think you should contact him. You said you felt a connection with him and he offered friendship! You should accept that friendship.

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