How to deal with things when your rebound relationship ends and you are left thinking about your ex?

I broke up with my ex of 6 months about 2 months ago. A month after the break up I met up with my ex one last time to give our stuff back and have some final closure. I felt like I got a real ending to the relationship and was ready for something new. Before the closure I had met someone else and we really clicked. So once I got that closure we started dating. We dated for a month. The beginning was really intense, we saw each other almost everyday and I really liked him. It slowly went from seeing each other all the time to a few times per week. It has been a week since I saw him last and I haven't heard from him in about 3 days. I sense he is giving me the fade away so I have accepted that it is over.

It was only a month so I wasn't really that attached to him, I just really enjoyed the attention. And now that its over I find myself thinking about my ex. I told him that he couldn't be part of my life, and now I am really sad when I think that I will never talk to him again. A part of me wishes we could be friends. I know I don't want him back and I don't think being friends is a good idea, I just wish sometimes that I could talk to him again.

Has anyone ever felt this way after the end of a rebound relationship? Any tips on getting through this rough patch without slipping and getting back in touch with my ex?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds to me like you may be a little co-dependent. I was there myself for most of my life. It wasn't until I turned 44 that I finally had a place of my very own and learned to be completely independent of anyone. Living alone gives us a chance to discover who we really are as a person. Relationships are not the place to try and discover who we are. When you say ex, are you speaking of an ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend? I'm all for keeping marriages together. Pre marital relationships are another story. The truth is that many people jump back into relationships with people they broke up with simply so they can have SOMEBODY. You chose to break up and you probably need to stick with that decision and move on.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're in a tough spot. The desire to reach out and contact your ex is strong, I know because I've been there.

    I often look at rebound relationships as band-aids over the wound in our hearts. When I was your age my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me out of the blue. It was near the end of summer, so when school started up my sophomore year I fell into a new relationship with a guy I had a previous light flirtation with back in the spring. It lasted all of 3 months until I finally realized in December that I really didn't "like" him in that way.

    I too found myself thinking about my ex after I left the rebound. However, in my case, my ex had gotten married! After dumping me, he immediately started dating a girl who always had the hots for him, and in October, they tied the knot. I was shocked and appalled - how could someone who loved me for THREE YEARS turn around and get married to someone else less than 3 months later? Just before Christmas I contacted my ex's mother and had a nice long face-to-face talk with her (which was ironic because we never liked each other when I was with her son). During the drive home, after leaving her place, I had the distinct feeling of peace come over me. I knew in my heart & mind that I was done with my ex - that was my closure.

    I never had the desire to get in touch with my ex again. Although he has gotten in touch with me, on multiple occasions over the past 20some years. He may not realize it, but he made the mistake of marrying HIS REBOUND - NOT a good idea. They've struggled ever since (his wife even had an affair at one point). He keeps a box of mementos from our relationship and has specifically told her that she is not allowed to touch it and he will never get rid of it. Not something I'd want my husband to do. Personally, I was kinda creeped out that he still carried a torch for me after all these years so I stopped responding to his periodic contact.

    Anyway, I don't know if that helps you at all so I'll tell you this. My tip to getting through this rough patch is to find a new hobby, something new you've always wanted to try but never got around to. This might expose you to new people and you might end up with new friends. Singing, dancing, yoga, painting, music, hiking, writing, book club, sailing, sewing, crafting... the list of things you could do is endless. :-)