Is being committed to school a turn-off?

I've been so confused lately. Dated a guy for 3 months and it was amazing.. no issues at all. However, our distance (2 hours away from each other) had some effect on our ending the relationship, and it was also because of my future with school. I'm going to apply to the Peace Corps this year and will be leaving for a couple of years. I'm looking to then go to med school after I return. No matter how many times my family and friends tell me that being intelligent, confident, and having a good sense of humor is the ideal package, I just can't buy it anymore.

If someone is honestly worth it, wouldn't you fight for him/her no matter what? Why give up on something that's good? Isn't it as simple as that? I guess it was hard for my ex partly because of my situation with school and moving away, but I really tried to fight for it. I see it as you stick with it and don't give up.

If I'm missing something here or my perception is out of whack, I'd love your advice.

Forgot to add... I also don't understand why someone wouldn't be able to take the relationship seriously given my situation with school.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Many men want access to a woman in both a emotional and phsyical sense. If a girl is too dedicated to any cause that keeps her away from us for too much or too long, many guys (myself included) will lose interest. Simply put, not being available or being at long distances are relationship killers for many.

    The best thing to do (and in my personal life I do it) is break it off with these types o girls until they are more available, if I'm available when she is ready. Waiting up for always being told "I'm busy" isn't a way to keep a relationship alive. I can still respect a girl that does good things in her life, but it doesn't mean I want to date her if she's not available to me.

    • As far as emotionally, it was never an issue of being to busy. After breaking up he even said he always felt comfortable and safe with me. I can see what you mean about the physical aspect though, it's tough not being able to see someone on demand whenever you want.. I guess for me I'd be willing to go through the really tough times that are just temporary, until things got easier.

    • The problem is, humans want physical contact with each other. That is a crucial part of closeness. In long-distance deals, you can't ever get that. Worse, it is only natural for both the boy and the girl to worry about about the faithfulness of the other partner. They both know of the longing for human contact and if the other might act on it or not. Why? Because they think about it themselves. It is only natural. That's why I am a strong advocate of breaking it all off until you can be close.

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