Does the internet make people too picky?

On some dating sites, you can get (well, if you're a girl) 50 or more messages a day. When she responds to a message, she gets 50 more before she gets the response. With so many to choose from, does it lead to not making a choice, waiting because tomorrow a better one may write?

It seems a lot of profiles are on there for a really long time. I wonder if they actually ever meet anyone who writes them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Does the internet make people too picky? Yes

    Studies have shown that women tend to respond to the most attractive men & men tend to message the most attractive women a study showed 2/3 of mens messages go to 1/3 of women.

    Amusingly generally men respond to most messages they get regardless of the senders attractiveness & women message men in most ranges of attractiveness and not the top most attractive like men.

    2. With so many to choose from, does it lead to not making a choice, waiting because tomorrow a better one may write? Probably or most like the messages are offensive or look like a copy & paste.

    2/3 of men's messages go to 11/3 of women aka the most attractive women.

    "On some dating sites, you can get (well, if you're a girl) 50 or more messages a day"

    Egh...if you're an above average girl. Studies have shown how for women their looks correlate to their inbox messages and average girls don't get that many messages a week much less a day. The any girl gets sh*tloads of messages is pretty much a male myth of online dating to soothe male egos.

    • Sounds about right. I know guys who've done fantastically online, some getting messages from a lot of women (good looking ones too since we know that's what matters :p)

      If guys are striking out on dating sites, its not the sites problem. Plenty of guys are doing great.

    • Show All
    • "...if you're an above average girl..."

      I don't know about that; a few years ago I was curious so I took out an ad on a free site pretending to be a 22 year old girl - and got about 60 messages a day. This was WITHOUT a picture. After a few days I removed it because the mailbox kept filling up.

      Even the best-looking guys I know who have taken out ads never get more than 5-6 in a day. And that's above average.

    • @QA

      To most guys youth correlates to beauty.

      You posted your age as under 25 so they thought attractive young thing.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Its natural to be overly picky on a dating site. Because what else do you have to go off of? You haven't met the person or interacted with him/her. All you can see is a static photo -that may not even be accurate -and whatever that person chose to write about on their profile. It's extremely limiting. That's why you have to be very careful about how you want to portray yourself on a personal profile.

  • greedy guys get caught up in the internet, yes. some girls too.

  • I think this may be the very same reason people break up and get divorced too! Always looking for something "better". It is becoming a less and less intuitive feel and more physical appeal.

    • I think that comparison shopping via Facebook or any other site can certainly lead to such break ups. The ease of interacting and cheating has been lowered thanks to technology. I still think it is important to look your best for your partner though, and your overall health. That doesn't excuse cheating, but hopefully reduces its appeal.

What Guys Said 4

  • Online dating is like searching for water in the Mojave sands if you are a man. My advice, just stay away! You'll have much better responses, more phone numbers and more dates flirting with girls in real life. Many girls are only on online dating sites to boost up their self-esteem by having hundreds of men message them. They can't respond to all of the messages, but it makes them feel good. Even women that aren't that attractive still get tons of messages.

    Of course, many of the messages are just short, boring or generic, so they don't respond. Add in some penis pictures and way too many messages in the first place and you start to see why even a thoughtful message by a man can easily be ignored. If you're a man who wants results in dating, start by asking out girls in the real world. You'll open up your selection and get much better results.

    • Well said

    • I agree, but not all of us have the opportunity to get out and meet people in the real world that often. I work in a tech field and my workplace is about 85% male. Most bars and clubs are about 2/3 male or more. I'd like to get involved in some organizations and in groups that go hiking and skiing and such, but right now time is hard to come I look on the net.


      Find the local businesses and charities that have events that appeal to women and you'll be much better off than in bars where the ratio is skewed in women's favor just about every time. Homework helps especially if you don't have much time on your hands!

  • i think so, it's helped fuel the "the grass is always greener on the other side" thing - a lot of people seem to break up because they believe there is something out there that's better.

    a friend once introduced me to the response to the grass is always greener: "it wouldn't be if you spent the time watering your own side". its very true

  • In my own experience, I've also noticed that online dating sites contribute to that "window-shopping" mentality, yes.

  • Here is a link showing one problem, people lie, a LOT of people lie...


    I tried the online dating and though I got some traction I didn't find it interesting enough and went back to real life dating in a hurry. I was honest about everything but found most people on there dull and boring, or volatile (like someone contacts you, you contact them back and never hear from them again...)

    It's just too easy to lie online and portray yourself in the best light, while judging others very harshly because you can flip through them like the pages of a book. I'm sure if you're dedicated and patient you can find someone that way, but I find real life much more fun and much less fake.

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