How am I suppose to choose between them?

i'm trying to decide who to take to prom, and I know it's a couple months away but I have no idea what I'm going to do.

my decision is split between two guys.

guy #1: the guy I've been crushing on for a long time,but he has a long history of emotionally hurting me. he broke my heart by completely ignoring me when I told him I liked him, among other things, and I'm pretty certain he has a girlfriend and they were dating when I told him I liked him which he failed to mention. the completely bizarre thing is that he's expecting me to take him to prom...which I don't know why if he has a girlfriend...i know I'm being stupid but I still kinda want him to be there, he's fun to be around and makes me laugh and he's fun to talk to and we talk a lot and we're still good friends.

guy #2: guy number two I haven't known nearly as long as guy #1, he's incredibly nice to me and always makes me laugh and smile. I love this about him, and he makes me feel so good about myself. he's more mature and more intelligent than guy #1. I feel like guy #2 would be more of a gentleman, I love this about him. guy #1 can be but only when he wants to be. my only reserve with guy #2 is he's always so busy (because he goes to harvard) so we don't have a lot of time to talk. When we do talk we both have a great time, and we get each other. but at the same time, because we can't talk a lot I feel like I don't know that much about him...and he can tend to be a tad socially awkward, I mean I can be in some situations, but adding that to the fact we don't talk a lot I'm not sure what to expect if he comes...

im not sure who to choose, and maybe I feel like that since I was crushing on guy #1 for so long and because he's expecting me to take him to prom I almost feel like I can't pass up the chance. each time I talk to either one of them I change my opinion of who to invite. I don't know what to expect from guy #1 if I bring him, but I feel like guy #2 has that sort of chivalry/gentlemanliness that I would want at prom...i don't know how to choose between them

oh and I'll be at the same school as guy #1 next year while guy #2 is fifteen house away...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guy #1 sounds like a classic player to me. He (probably) has a GF, but expects to go to prom with you? And you also said this about him: "has a long history of emotionally hurting me... " OK - couple of red flags there. 1) If a guy has a GF, he takes HER to prom. 2) If any guy really hurts you, then walk away, don't pursue. That said, if he is honestly a decent friend to you, then keep him in the friendzone, but nothing more.

    Guy #2 sounds a lot better, but he's a busy Ivy-Leaguer. I think he'd make a classy escort to your prom, but give him more than a week or two notice that you're thinking of asking him if he's so busy.

    Just my two cents... Good luck.

    • guy #1 is also in college so he's not taking anyone to prom... but yeah 1) I still don't get why he would expect to go with me if he has a girlfriend, to me that wouldn't be OK on either end. 2) yeah I know and trust me I've tried and I know I'm being stupid, I know I need to friend zone him but it's so much harder than I ever imagined

      oh if I asked him I was gonna give him more like a month or three weeks notice just to make sure because he's so busy and farther away.

    • Show All
    • i've tried distancing myself before and the last time I ended up with him sending me at least 12 different messages in different forms, that's how I know he at least cares about our friendship if nothing else...and he's already talking about how much we're going to hang out and have fun at school...which I guess is fine as long as I don't get to emotionally attached to him again... I guess I'm hoping at college it won't be so much of a problem because there;s so many other people

    • and I want to see how it goes with guy #2 but maybe I'm so reserved about it because he's so far away. 15 hours is a long distance and I know I would make it work if that's what we wanted but he did tell me he didn't really believe in long distance relationships, even though I'm sure if it was meant to be he'd change his mind. I don't see it as impossible, but I guess from how little time we have to talk it almost seems that way sometimes.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Always go with the guy who didn't hurt you in the past. Guy number two is the winner.

    • @ update: It doesn't matter who's more convenient. The guy you described first sounds awful. He's not worth it. He'll only hurt you.

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    • Sweetie, they never "intend to hurt you." He is manipulating you. Take it from an unbiased third party. Going with #1 will only complicate it more and he'll hurt you again in the future. It's a difficult thing to do what's right, but guy #2 is way the better choice. Think of what you'd do to guy #1's girlfriend if she found out you took her man to prom...she'd feel awful.

    • yeah I thought about that, if he indeed does have a girlfriend like I suspect ,i don't know why he'd be OK with coming to my prom or why he would think he was coming with me. cause I wouldn't be OK with that

  • I'd say go with #2 so you have a for sure date, and if you change your mind you can always say that you want to go with#1 because of x, y, and z and #2 would probably understand.

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