What are your opinions of talking to more than one person at a time?

ever since I first started liking guys or getting "crushes" at age 14 I would always like one guy at a time, I've never been the kind to like more than one, and IF I did I would always end up liking one more than the other or something like that..I'm 19 now by the way lol and that has never changed about me...it sucks though Because I tend to get hurt more often than not.

I'm currently really really interested in someone and he is interested in me as well and we are talking and have been since December, he is in the army and deployed right now and we are going to meet in May when he comes back but he "came clean" to me last night that he is talking serious with one other girl besides me and that he's pretty interested in her but not jumping to any conclusions and that he's planning on meeting the both of us when he comes back home.

he did tell me awhile back that he likes to keep his options opened and that I should do the same just in case things didn't turn out well between us. but as you read at the beginning of this, I've never been the type to do that.

but I'm glad he told me about the other girl, at least he was honest, it just makes me kind of nervous.

what would you think in my situation?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would be nervous too. But you know what, if he decides he wants the other girl instead of you I wouldn't feel too bad. It's mainly his personal preference. There are a lot of other guys out there and maybe he wasn't a good match for you anyway.

    I had this same dilemma when I was trying to find a boyfriend. I was like you, I only wanted to see one guy at a time. I would commit myself to this guy before I even knew him, talk to him for a few weeks and then finally meet him, only to have him not be interested and to have wasted a whole month talking to just him.

    I was finding it frustrating because I was putting so much work into one person who didn't even care. And who was meeting multiple people at the same time.

    I think it's okay to keep your options open as long as both parties know and agree to it. As long as no one has made anything official, you are free to date and see whomever you like. Because in situations like this, it never hurts to have someone else who you are talking to in case this one doesn't pan out.

    Now when you two are in a relationship, that is when both parties agree to be exclusive and only see each other. But during the getting to know if we are compatible stage, it's okay to talk to other guys because you aren't tied down yet. Nothing is official.

    Once it is made official you have to cut ties with the other people you were talking to.

    But in your situation, I think it's okay to meet up with other guys. You have just as much of a right to keep your options open as does he. And I think there is nothing wrong with that. Too many people jump right into a relationship without really getting to know the person first.

    Who knows, maybe this guy will choose you. Maybe he won't, but if he doesn't at least you kept your options open and it won't hurt as bad. You may even come to find out you don't really like him at all!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • if your who you are don't try to be anything thing else..if he can juggle two women at once he's not a real man and your not a real women..rejection is how your grow stronger not putting yourself out there fully is just being scared of getting hurt.we all are if you like him don't put no one elses feelings into what's between you two..solve your equation and if you get want you want good if you don't then move on. cause if he will do it with you he will do it to you.good luck

  • i would love to comment on this, but I'm going to keep my mouth shut for the continued betterment of the site..


What Girls Said 1

  • its not a bad way to date. you probably get hurt a lot because you pin everything on one person instead of getting to know many people at a time. if your not in a relationship then your single, so why cut yourself off to new people and act like your exclusive by talking to only one person when your single?